🌬️ Colors of the Wind

Colors of the Wind in the Disney movie “Pochahontas” talks about loving our precious planet and accepting people for who they are. There’s someone who has been harassing me since the beginning of this year and I’ve finally had it!

I’ve had many chiropractor classmates at my acupuncture school and they would provide me with chiropractic adjustments back then. I had a very bad neck adjustment performed by someone who was not trained to do so and two major car accidents previously, so I’ve always had a lot of neck tension and neck pain. DS was one of the chiropractors who took some acupuncture classes with me at my acupuncture school back then.

I had a study buddy SM and we got along well and often did fun things together outside of school as well. One year, we decided to attend a popular Halloween costume party together (along with his fiancee, and my boyfriend at the time) and he took me to JoAnn to buy my “Snow White” costume materials and even helped me sew the entire costume himself.

I guess DS already liked me from that time and when we were in class together, he started telling me bad things that SM has said about me. SM and I went through a period where we started becoming more and more distant from each other. However, I valued our friendship a lot and decided to confront him about the bad things he had said to DS about me. That was when SM told me that DS had also been telling him that I’d been saying bad things about SM. I couldn’t believe that DS would be such a pathological liar and psychopath, to actually make up this sick plan of trying to break up the friendship between SM and myself! After that incident, SM and I decided that if DS ever tells us again that we’ve been saying bad things about each other, to then ask each other if that’s true or if DS made that up again.

That was the horrible impression of the kind of person DS left in my mind during the short period of time that we had classes together.

After obtaining my California Acupuncture license, I moved to Orange County because of my work. One day, out of the blue, DS contacted me and asked to meet up. Being the forgiving person that I am, I decided to let go of the past and did not even confront DS about the shady things he did to SM and me while we were attending acupuncture school together. DS and I met up a few times and then once again, he disappeared from my life. Since I never had any romantic inclinations towards him or even liked him that much as a friend (especially because he likes to play mind games and cause drama in people’s lives), I didn’t think much of it and just carried on with my life as usual. That was the last time I heard from him, which was over 15 years ago.

DS contacted me at the beginning of January 2022, using my contact form on my professional website https://chinese-medicine-doc.com saying that he incidentally came across my website and asked how I was doing. I found out later on that it was definitely not by chance that he came across my professional website. In fact, he had been spying on me and reading all of my journal entries on this personal website, “Lotus Soul” for a very long time already.

What defines a psychopath? Someone who thinks he’s invincible and can get away with lies, however stupid they may be. They are also opportunists who will prey on someone that they think is weaker than them. DS emailed me back and forth with a whole bunch of lies. He told me I said things back then, which I knew for certain were lies. He preyed upon my having PTSD with dissociation and the fact that we spoke over 15 years ago (so may not remember everything precisely) to make up anything he felt like saying. Well, you’ve underestimated me, DS, you dumb ass idiot!

He told me things that made me suspect that he actually knows about this personal website of mine, which I do not advertise on my social media since I am journaling about private things in my life, and do not want my friends to know about them. When I emailed DS with my suspicion, he flat-out denied knowing about this website, until I provided him with proof, and then he started apologizing for lying about it. One of the worst lies he told me was that I told him over 15 years ago that I am going to move back to Taiwan and take care of my sister. That was the ultimate give away that he knows about “Lotus Soul” and is making up stuff about what I said to him over 15 years ago. My sister was in a very stable condition 15 years ago. In fact, her mental condition only started to deteriorate about 3 years ago when my father started having dementia. It was only in the recent years that I started considering moving back to Taiwan to take care of my sister. Otherwise, I love living in the US and had never thought about leaving the US or moving back to Taiwan. The only reason I will be moving back to Taiwan now is to take care of my ill sister, who is now institutionalized for life.

After confronting DS about his lies, I told him with kindness that I am Not interested in him romantically, but that we can be Just friends. He turned even more psycho on me after that, and in one of his emails, he made it seem as if we were dating back then over 15 years ago, and that one day, I just left him and married my soon-to-be ex-husband. That was when I realized that he really needs psychiatric help as he seems to be suffering from delusions as well if he truly believes what he’s saying.

DS was actually born in Bloomington MN, and then moved to CA with his parents later on in life. He told me in his email correspondences that he used to be a member of some sick S&M club in California, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s also a member of some sick online forums and connecting with people back in MN as well.

I journaled about attending the Divorce Care group on “Lotus Soul” and DS knows which city I’m in, so he can easily do a search to find out what time the group meeting is. One time, a woman started telling us that she suffers from PTSD with dissociation. Firstly, this is a Divorce Care group, not a PTSD group. No one will go around and tell people that they have PTSD, and to be so specific in saying that she has dissociation, really made me wonder if this was planned. She also never came back again after that one session. I also shared during that session about becoming more interested in understanding Christianity but was totally taken aback when I read bible scriptures stating that divorce is a sin. I cried so much during that Divorce Care session.

It was strange enough to have that woman show up for that one and only time telling everyone that she has PTSD with dissociation, but what made me realize that this was most likely some sick friend that DS sent over to mess with my brain (knowing that I’m already suffering from PTSD with dissociation) was that the very next morning (03/23/22), DS emailed me and specifically spoke about my dissociation, and he also said this below, out of the blue, which was never discussed in any of our email correspondences:

MEMORY LANE
When I was going to the University of Minnesota, 1979 – 1981, we always looked forward to the “Devil Destroyers” visiting our campus. They were a group of evangelist Christians that tried to get people to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. They came on the main campus, usually on a Sunday, and we would form a circle around them. The main speaker sat on a round board that turned. He would point his finger to the crowd, as the board slowly spun, and yell out, “SINNERS! SINNERS! SINNERS! YOU ARE ALL SINNERS!” And then he would give us a lecture. I only remember one of the lectures. He yelled out to the crowd and asked, “Do you know what the number one hit of all time is? The hit from the devil that has penetrated all of your sinner minds?” Some people responded, “CALL ME, by Blondie” or “Another Brick In The Wall, by Pink Floyd.” He yelled out, “NO! It’s ‘All You Need Is Love, by The Beatles.” He told us the song isn’t true. All you need is to accept Jesus into your life. That’s all I remember. Back in those days, school spirit was huge. I remember when the Cheerleaders set up a bonfire at night and gave cheers to the football team
.

DS also asked me in that same email about my chiropractor in Maple Grove. In fact, he has asked me a few times about him because he read from my previous journal entries how my chiropractor in Maple Grove was taking advantage of my PTSD with dissociation in trying to make me develop romantic feelings towards him. So, I guess DS saw my chiropractor as a competitor and will probably want his sick friends in MN to do something to him as well. I’ve never disclosed anything about my chiropractor in Maple Grove to DS since I know how sick DS is, and I’ve decided to forgive my chiropractor for all the harm he has caused me in the past.

Whenever I confront DS about his lies, he’ll either send me emails apologizing profusely (but then start up with some other mind games later on), not reply back, or send me an email from another email address talking about an entirely new topic and pretending as if my previous email never existed. I even wonder if DS has multiple personalities as well?

Even after I’ve told DS respectfully multiple times to stop emailing me, he’ll think of another lie/excuse to email me again. The last one was about 2 months ago when he said that he’s been donating to a charity organization (which I found out was discontinued for over 15 years now) and would like to give a portion of that money to me instead. Knowing that I always do my due diligence and will reply back to tell him that I know he’s lying, he then used that as an excuse to start communicating with me again. He even sent me emails of gifting me one of his houses and providing me with $2000/month just to be with him. He also sent me an email of explicit disgusting details of the sexual acts he will perform on me if we were together. I told him (08/24/22) that he’d have to at least give me $1M upfront, knowing that that will very unlikely happen, and then he stopped corresponding for a while.

He started emailing me again later on with some random topics and I decided to just email him back every 2 to 3 weeks, seeing that we were classmates from over 15 years ago and he’s all alone and suffering from health ailments. However, that did not go well with him, so he first resend the same email and then texted me a few days later saying he was worried that I did not receive his email. I texted back to say that I did and that I plan on replying back to his emails every 2-3 weeks, so then he decided to just start texting me to hear back from me right away.

I keep on believing that people can change for the better and that we all deserve a second chance (and in his case, the tenth chance), so I texted him back. He was texting me again last Friday and our conversation went okay. However, a friend of mine and I had dinner together on Friday (10/21/22) and I posted the photos on this website Friday night. I guess DS saw it and was livid that I was having dinner with someone so he sent me an email on Saturday titled “Humor Video”. He didn’t say anything in the email except that, “I don’t know how to do this with my cell phone.”, It was the most racist, vile, disgusting video I have ever seen in my life. It was making fun of this Asian woman with people constantly telling her that she is a fucking piece of shit. I just knew then that this was what DS wanted to tell me, that I am a fucking piece of shit for having dinner with someone else the night before. That was also when I realized that he is obsessed to the point of being pathological and that he is a psychopath who will never change.

I replied back saying that it was disturbing that he was sending me this racist video, that’s once again making fun of Asians. Then, later on, he texts me asking if I received his email of his “Humor Video” since it’s showing on his end that it wasn’t sent. This guy is not capable of speaking the truth, he can only lie through his ass. I wonder if that’s how he’s been getting by his entire life? I even replied back to his email and here he is, texting me with this lie, hoping that I will once again communicate with him, but now through texts instead. He then started bombarding me with a whole bunch of texts apologizing and pretending that he didn’t know it was unacceptable to send me this horrible racist video. I just texted him back three sentences, telling him to stop trying my patience, and then decided to stop replying to his texts.

The next morning, he emailed me another email titled “Do These Videos Put A Smile On Your Face?”. I forwarded that email with the two attached videos to my friend and asked him to check and see if those are sick racist videos again since I don’t want to be traumatized by DS emotionally and psychologically again. My friend said they are just some dog videos and warned me that these attachments are how hackers gain access to your accounts. I was wondering first off, where did he get these videos from? Most people just watch videos on YouTube, and if they want to share them, they just share the link. I decided to not ever open any attachments that DS sends me again since it is very likely that he will try to hack my accounts and devices, especially now that I am not responding back to him.

This guy has some money, and plenty of spare time to screw with people’s lives. I told someone previously that if I disappear one day, to notify the police that DS has most likely abducted me back to San Bernardino County, CA, which is where he currently lives.

These are the kinds of people I’ve experienced my entire life. Losers, whom when I kindly tell them that I am not interested in them romantically, will then turn nasty and vindictive towards me. I’m done with putting up with this kind of bullshit! DS is the worst psycho I’ve ever met in my life, but there are others as well, just not to such a sick degree. Another acupuncture classmate of mine, CC, which I also rejected back then has since then been throwing shade at me on social media (and at school back then) whenever he sees an opportunity to do so. These morons think that just because I look so cute and innocent, and am so sweet and kind, that they can treat me however badly they want to since I don’t want to be with them romantically. Well, you are wrong! I have so much resiliency and inner strength that Nothing and No One will ever break me down! You may be able to kick me to the ground once or twice, but I will always get up and I become stronger after each fall! I have not yet kicked your ass, only because I am a kind person, but don’t try my patience!

So, here we are, DS. I have dedicated this long journal entry to exposing the kind of sick psychopath you truly are since you love causing drama in my life and continue to spy on me and read my journal entries, even though I explicitly emailed you in writing to stop looking at anything to do with me on 03/25/22. And I want to stress this, WE HAVE NEVER EVEN HELD HANDS! I HAVE ZERO ROMANTIC INTEREST IN YOU WHATSOEVER! I have provided a friend with your details if anything should ever happen to me, God Forbid!

LEAVE ME ALONE DS, OR I WILL FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, YOU SICK RACIST BASTARD!!! You Need to Get Psychiatric Help!

Colors of the Wind

~ Lea Salonga

You think I’m an ignorant savage
And you’ve been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don’t know?
You don’t know …

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they’re worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you’ll never know
And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you’ll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind

πŸ’— All My Life πŸ’

I’ve been going through the EFT Tapping book called “Manifesting Your Greatest Self” and following along with their daily tapping meditations. I haven’t been going through it thoroughly, but I decided to at least commit myself to doing the tapping meditations daily.

Today’s topic is on being at peace with who you are, what you feel, and where you are in life right now.

All My Life ~ K-Ci & JoJo

I have always been very tough on myself. Nothing I do is ever good enough. I’m not smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough, successful enough, etc., etc., etc… ENOUGH of that! I’ve had enough!!!

All my life, I’ve been searching for love, to be loved, and to be accepted as who I am. Yet, failing to recognize that in order to be loved, and to love others, I need to first love myself. This greatest love in my life which I’ve been searching for my entire life starts with loving myself first.

I am going to accept my current circumstances and work through them. You can not resolve problems by avoiding them. The only way to resolve problems is by going through them, accepting them, resolving them, and then letting go.

I am going to stop beating myself up over every little thing I do that is not good enough, that is not perfect. I am going to accept that I am flawed, that I am messed up right now. I am going to allow my emotions to heal and allow my body to heal.

This greatest love that I have been searching for all my life, starts with loving myself and accepting myself, flaws and all…

All My Life

~ K-Ci & JoJo

Baby, baby, baby, baby

Ooooooh

I’m so glad

I will never find another lover
Sweeter than you
Sweeter than you

And I will never find another lover
More precious than you
More precious than you

Girl you are
Close to me you’re like my mother
Close to me you’re like my father
Close to me you’re like my sister
Close to me you’re like my brother

And you are the only one, my everything
And for you this song I sing

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God
That I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I’d so thankful that I’m thinking of
Baby
Said I promise to never fall in love
With a stranger
You’re all I’m thinking of
I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love
I cherish every hug
I really love you

All my life (ohhhh, baby, baby)
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God
That I
That I finally found you
All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

You’re all that I’ve ever know
When you smile all my face always seems to glow
You turned my life around
You picked me up when I was down

You’re all that I’ve ever known
When you smile my face glows
You picked me up when I was down
Say, you’re all that I’ve ever known
When you smile my face glows

You picked me up when I was down
And I hope that you
Feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God
That I
That I finally found you

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God
That I
That I Finally Found You

All my life
I prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too
All my life
I prayed for someone like you
And I thank God
That I
That I Finally Found You

🌨️ Seasons Change

I was just beginning to enjoy my favorite season of the year, Fall. However, the weather forecast said that we may have some snow flurries today, and it’s 39F as I’m journaling right now. I guess our 2-week Fall season is over. This is kind of how I feel about my marriage. In fact, this is how I’m feeling now with my romantic relationships in general.

Seasons Change ~ ExposΓ©

I always try to have a positive outlook towards life, and events that happen in my life. I always try to find the silver lining in every cloud. However, my life sucks right now! And this is after years and years of self-help that I’m adding the words ‘right now”, as in, it wasn’t always like this, and this will go away eventually. As to when that will happen? I have no idea.

I just feel like my world has been turned upside down, inside out. Most of the time, I don’t even know if I’m coming, or going. I pretend to the outside world that I’m happy and optimistic, and nothing can affect me for long. Truth is, I don’t sleep well, I’m constantly feeling tired. I have no idea where to go, or what to do after my divorce is final. In fact, I haven’t been working on my divorce process or sorting out my stuff at home and in my storage unit.

I’ve been living in denial all this time, finding things or people to distract me from what’s going on in my life, and at the same time, beating myself up for doing that. I’ve been following this 5-week series on healing from trauma and I’ve realized that being in denial is one of my learned survival responses to what’s going on in my life right now.

And the more I live in denial, the more shitty things happen to me to try and shake me back to reality. I’m so good at pretending to the outside world that I’m happy and got my shit together. I’m always happy when I talk with my mom on the phone because I don’t want her to worry about me. Then, there are times when I’m bawling my eyes out until I tell myself that I better stop or I’m going to end up with eye pain again constantly.

Fall is leaving and winter is arriving soon. Seasons change and our circumstances change constantly. My life sucks right now. My circumstances suck. I have no motivation or energy to go with the change that I can not change.

I have to start all over again. And with winter, comes seasonal affective depression that affects me as well. It’s becoming harder and harder for me to pretend these days that I’m okay. I’m not okay…

Seasons Change

~ ExposΓ©

Some dreams are in the night time
And some seem like yesterday
But leaves turn brown and fade
Ships sail away
You long to say a thousand words
But seasons change

It feels like it’s forever
No reason for emptiness
But time just runs away
No more day by day
You dream again it seems in vain
When seasons change

I want you
I want to feel you by my side
I need you
Don’t you know I need you baby

Seasons change feelings change
It’s been so long since I found you
Yet it seems like yesterday
Seasons change people change
I’ll sacrifice tomorrow
Just to have you here today

Forever seems so far away
There’s time for love and for play
You dream about today
Feeling slips away
The winds that blow they go away
And seasons change

I want you
Don’t hide your feelings from inside
I need you
I’ve got to have your love now baby

Seasons change feelings change
It’s been so long since I found you
Yet it seems like yesterday
Seasons change people change

I want you
I want to feel you by my side
I need you
I’ve got to have your love now baby

Seasons change feelings change
It’s been so long since I found you
Yet it seems like yesterday
Seasons change people change
I’ll sacrifice tomorrow
Just to have you here today
Just to have you here today

Seasons change feelings change
It’s been so long since I found you
Yet it seems like yesterday
Seasons change people change
Change the season

πŸ’­ Thoughts for October 2022 🌺

  • Theme for the Month:
  • Release
  • Affirmations for the Month:
  • I release love with kindness.
  • I come from the loving space of my heart, and I know that love opens all doors.
  • I am willing to release the feeling of being unworthy. I am now becoming all that I am supposed to be.
  • Wednesday (10/05/22):
  • I am finding it more and more difficult to focus these days due to all the things that are going on in my life. I am also worried that I might start suffering from Seasonal Affective Depression again once the days get shorter and the nights longer.
  • I am giving myself permission to NOT push myself right now. My main focus is to get the divorce process going, clear out all my stuff, and figure out my next step in life once this is completed.
  • If I want to bawl my eyes out, it’s okay. If I want to swear and feel the anger & hurt while going through this divorce process, it’s okay. I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to always be the sweetest person on this earth. I am just human. I am imperfect. I can act out if I want to. I allow myself to feel all the emotions I am going through with this divorce process.
  • I Will Not Numb My Feelings, I Will Feel What I Feel And Slowly Process It Over Time, However Long It May Take.
  • Monday (10/24/22):
  • I started listening to a 7-Week program on Codependency Recovery and am learning a lot from it.
  • I no longer want to be a people pleaser or a perfectionist.
  • I want to just be myself and find someone that can accept me as I am, and I, the same for him. This is once we have both passed our dealbreakers criteria.
  • I am no longer going to work my ass off to seek approval or to be loved. I am lovable, just as I am.
  • If Someone Does Not Treat Me Right, Then Dump Them, And Block Them!
  • I accidentally sent out an email this morning with a grammar mistake. In the past, I’d be brooding over it for a long time. Now, I just figure, you what? My English is a lot better than at least 80% of people who were born in an English-speaking country. So, even if I make a mistake now and then, it’s still almost perfect!
  • This is my new life! I am accepting myself as I am. My life should be easy. My relationships should be easy. I will no longer accept relationships that suck my life force and drain my energy. If it’s too hard, then it’s not meant to be.
  • My Motto for this week is: My Life Is Easy. My Relationships Are Easy!
  • Thursday (10/27/22):
  • Powerball is at its second-highest payout in history now @ $800M. My friend and are each going to put in $50 to buy 50 tickets and split the winnings in half. Here’s to us winning the Jackpot! Woohoo! 😝🀞

🌹 No Matter What πŸ‘

In the song “No Matter What” by Calum Scott, he talks about his experience of coming out about his sexuality to his mom. This song has a very special meaning to me because of the struggles I am experiencing through my divorce process…

No Matter What ~ Calum Scott

I don’t know why but throughout my life, I’ve encountered people who are very critical of me.

When I was in dental school, there was a girl from Taiwan, Ms. M, that was also studying dentistry, a few years behind me. Their family always invited me over to their flat and she’ll often come over to my flat and chat with me as well. I’ve always wanted to have a younger sister since I’m the youngest in my family and I loved her as my baby sister.

After I decided to stop being a dentist, she told me one day that when she attended an alumni party and someone mentioned my quitting dentistry, she was too embarrassed to say that she knows me. I felt so hurt and betrayed when I heard that.

Firstly, why would her dental classmates even know about me? We never attended any classes together, and we’re not from the same school year. So, am I now famous in the entire dental school for quitting dentistry? How did people even know about that? I didn’t tell anyone except for my close friends.

When my professor at my acupuncture school found out that I used to be a dentist and am now studying to become an acupuncturist, he basically told me that I’m a “loser” for choosing to do so.

These harsh words have remained stuck with me for the rest of my life, and I often feel like no one has my back. I feel so embarrassed to tell people that I have three educational degrees but am not putting any one of them to good use. I often just end up telling people these days that I do nothing. I feel like “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t”, since either way, they’ll still end up thinking that I’m a loser, so I might as well just declare myself a loser from the start and save everyone the trouble…

Even my poor dad, after all these years, still keeps all of my dental books, study notes, and anything related to my dental career at home. I’ve already told them a long time ago that I’m not going back and they can just throw everything away, but he still insists on keeping them, in case one day I change my mind.

It makes me feel so bad. I feel like I’ve let him down completely. Yet, he still tells me to this day that he is so proud of me and my achievements in life. What achievements? What do I have to show for besides a whole bunch of diplomas and certificates? And soon, I’ll have a new certificate, my divorce certificate…

I spoke with my mom this morning and she asked me how my online business is going. I told her that I’m writing articles, but it’s going so slowly. I intended on publishing one article at least every 3 days, but now I’m struggling to even publish one a week because I have to seriously start dealing with everything related to our divorce and physical separation now.

I was expecting some kind of encouragement from mom on how I can be more productive. Instead, she just said to me, “It’s Okay“. I was shocked to hear that. I’ve been so tough and unforgiving towards myself my entire life. I constantly criticize myself for not doing something perfectly as planned, and yet, here is my beloved mother just telling me that it’s okay. I told her last week that lately, I’ve been experiencing panic attacks when doing all the things required for my divorce. I guess she’s also trying to be as supportive as she can regarding my emotional struggles right now, and I appreciate that so much.

Once my divorce is final, it will just be another confirmation that I am a total failure in life. I am struggling so badly to come to terms with that. However, I am truly grateful to have such a loving family that will accept me exactly as I am, no matter what. My biggest obstacle right now is to accept myself exactly as I am, no matter what…

No Matter What

~ Songwriters: Toby Gad / Calum Scott

When I was a young boy I was scared of growing up
I didn’t understand it but I was terrified of love
Felt like I had to choose but it was outta my control
I needed to be saved, I was going crazy on my own

It took me years to tell my mother, I expected the worst
I gathered all the courage in the world

She said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
She wrapped her arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
She loves me no matter what

I got a little older wishing all my time away
Riding on the pavement, every sunny day was grey
I trusted in my friends then all my world came crashing down
I wish I never said a thing, ’cause to them I’m a stranger now

When I ran home I saw my mother, it was written on my face
Felt like I had a heart of glass about to break

She said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
She wrapped her arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
Yeah

Now I’m a man and I’m so much wiser
I walk the earth with my head held higher
I got the love that I need
But I was still missing one special piece
My father looked at me

He said, “I love you no matter what
I just want you to be happy and always be who you are”
He wrapped his arms around me
Said, “Don’t try to be what you’re not
‘Cause I love you no matter what”
He loves me no matter what
And they love me no matter what

πŸ’ Battle Belongs

My life has been going through a complete downward spiral ever since my soon-to-be ex-husband asked for a divorce on 12/04/21, and then I found out about all the shady things he had been doing behind my back not long afterwards.

Battle Belongs ~ Phil Wickham

I am going through the worst existential crisis I’ve ever been through in my life, especially because he has started drinking, and drinking and driving again. I sacrificed my health, my work, and my emotional stability all just to get him to stop drinking, and now I’m questioning if I’ve wasted over 14 years of my life for Nothing???

I just told him a few days ago that it’s the complete sense of betrayal from the shady things he’s done since last year that’s affecting me the most, and that’s what I’ve been working on this entire year. Some days, I think that I’m almost over it, but then other days, I get triggered (especially when it comes to his drinking and our finances) and feel like I’m back to Day 1 of discovering what he has done to me.

I joined a Divorce Care group at the beginning of this year, which is founded by church organizations, and started wanting to understand more about Christianity, so I joined a MeetUp group at a local church with a weekly meetup introducing people to Christianity as well.

The entire MeetUp group series is based on “Mark’s Gospel” and I actually had a great time during the first meetup group. However, I glanced at their workbook and saw that getting a divorce is committing a sin. That once again threw me into the worst state of mind as I now feel that I’m screwed and damned for eternity. I messaged the pastor and told him that I’m going through a very difficult divorce right now and am unable to continue attending the meetup group as it’s too triggering being told constantly that I will be committing a sin by doing so.

All of the people at the church Meetup group seemed so “proper”, and most of them came with their significant other. After glancing through the workbook and seeing the part on divorce being a sin, I started to feel smaller and smaller…. What will they think of me if they find out that I’m getting divorced? Will all the wives now think that I’m a dangerous predator to their husbands?

I managed to push myself through the entire 13 weeks of Divorce Care group meetings but unsubscribed from the Divorce Care daily inspirational emails.

Now that I’m near my agreed-upon divorce deadline, and being forced into facing reality, I’m once again going through this existential crisis on a deeper level. What on earth did I accomplish during my over 14 years of marriage when I placed my main focus on him, on his drinking, and on my marriage??? He placed his only importance throughout our marriage on his work and his drinking, so nothing much is changing in his life, besides not having someone to do all the non-work-related things for him anymore. I, on the other hand, placed the sole importance on our marriage and getting him to stop drinking, and now I will have nothing left to show for the past 14 years of my life. I placed all my eggs in one basket, and now they’re all shattered…

Even when he wasn’t drinking, he was still a “dry drunk” as he never sought any help in sorting out his emotional issues, which was the main reason that he was drinking, to self-medicate. He was unhappy and emotionally unavailable all the time and I just kept on telling myself that I’ll just have to accept it, as long as he’s not drinking. And what good did that do? I had to shut down my own emotions as well so that I won’t feel so neglected and hurt by his unavailability on all levels.

I’ve just resubscribed to the Divorce Care daily inspirational emails a few days ago and am once again being forced to remember how the church speaks of getting divorced being a sin.

I’ve been following the Embrace Church which speaks of following Jesus, and Not church organizations; even if you’re not a Christian, even if you’re a sinner, which we are all. This is what their latest series on “Deconstruct” talks about. I’m keeping an open mind to understand more about the real Christianity, even if I’m a sinner, which we all are.

Some days, I really feel like I’m in a complete state of panic. I don’t even know the meaning of life anymore. I’m still trying to figure out the meaning of life. Will I ever figure that out? I’m trying to go easy on myself and just take it one day at a time now…

Battle Belongs

~ Songwriters: Brian Mark Johnson / Philip David Wickham

When all I see is the battle, You see my victory
When all I see is the mountain, You see a mountain moved
And as I walk through the shadow, Your love surrounds me
There’s nothing to fear now for I am safe with You

So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You

And if You are for me, who can be against me? Yeah
For Jesus, there’s nothing impossible for You
When all I see are the ashes, You see the beauty
Thank You God
When all I see is a cross, God, You see the empty tomb

So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You

Almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadow, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God

An almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadow, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God

An almighty fortress, You go before us
Nothing can stand against the power of our God
You shine in the shadows, You win every battle
Nothing can stand against the power of our God

So when I fight, I’ll fight on my knees
With my hands lifted high
Oh God, the battle belongs to You
And every fear I lay at Your feet
I’ll sing through the night
Oh God, the battle belongs to You

Oh God, the battle belongs to You

πŸ’ Hero

I woke up in the middle of the night last night and saw a text from my soon-to-be ex-husband informing me that he has just been let go from his third-shift job, and HR will send him papers to fill out to continue with our current medical insurance on our own dime, which will be a lot more expensive than before.

Hero ~ Mariah Carey

I told him that this will be a good time for him to recuperate his health, and work on his emotional issues and his alcohol addiction. He then told me that he wants to move out and find a place of his own very soon.

We agreed to finalize our divorce towards the beginning of next year and then we’ll go our separate ways physically as well after that. We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and living separate lives for over 3 years now, and I’ll always think of him as a family member, so I really don’t see the urgency for him to move out now, instead of after our divorce is final. I also reminded him that by doing so, he will be adding additional costs to staying at a different place, while his income will be decreasing substantially due to him losing this third-shift part-time job. It will be a double whammy.

He is clearly going through a mid-life crisis, which started a few years ago. When “normal” people go through a mid-life crisis and an existential crisis, such as myself, I go and dye my hair red, and sign up for community classes to go out and meet more people. Why couldn’t he just decide to shave his hair bald, and run another marathon (which he did after his ex-girlfriend of 9 years broke up with him before we met) instead of drinking and driving, and handing 6-digits to a total stranger, and getting himself into this huge debt for the next 5 years?

I told him that he has hurt me deeply by all the shady things he did behind my back last year and wished he could have just told me that he is miserable and wanted a divorce. I was feeling very unhappy and stuck in my marriage as well. If he just told me that he wanted a divorce, I would have agreed to it without any issues, and we would have just worked through the terms amicably. Why couldn’t he have just trusted me and shown me the respect to end our marriage the proper way? That’s what I have been working on this year, the extreme sense of betrayal I feel from the way he handled this entire process.

It’s like he just has to create complete chaos in his life because he’s trying to change how miserable he feels inside, yet failing to recognize that this chaos he’s creating is actually making him feel even more miserable in life. And the only way for him to start feeling better about his life is to work on his thoughts and emotions. They say that “You create your own reality”, and he is creating a reality that is heading towards even more misery while dragging me through the mud with him as collateral damage.

He also told me that I need to get the divorce process started. Since he already got what he wanted, the 6-digits to give to another woman, and we’ve already agreed on the divorce terms, things are back to “normal” ~ as in I do all the legwork and all he has to do is sign on the dotted line. That’s how things have been for the past 14 years, especially since he knows that I am a perfectionist and very trustworthy, so I always do all the legwork and all he has to do is sign. Most of the time, he doesn’t even look at the papers, and will just sign, but now and then, he’ll do an “audit” and actually look at my paperwork before he signs it. I guess I should be happy that he at least knows that I’m not going to do anything shady or harmful to him?

I told him to let’s set a deadline because it’s difficult to get things moving along without a deadline. Now that we have a deadline, I can start to plan accordingly. I just recently spoke to my therapist about this, that I haven’t been getting things going, and one of my “homework” is to look into the process of getting a divorce in MN and draw up a weekly to-do list for it.

I can feel that I have a mental block regarding this, and that’s why I’ve been placing it on the back burner all this time. I’ve been dedicating all of my time to writing articles for my online business and now I have to slow that down and start dedicating my time to filing our divorce papers, purging our stuff, cleaning out our storage unit, and finding places for the both of us once our divorce is final towards the beginning of next year. So, basically, everything is back, as usual, ~ he works, and I do everything else. But I figure, I’ve been doing that for over 14 years of our marriage now, so might as well just do the same towards the end and also use this opportunity to memorialize the good times that we’ve had together throughout our marriage.

I always like to end things on a good note. It consumes too much energy having to hold on to anger and resentment, so I would rather end our marriage knowing that everything has been taken care of on both ends. I have recognized though, that I am powerless when it comes to his drinking, and all I can do is pray that he will come to his senses and decide to do that on his own.

This song, “Hero” by Mariah Carey, empowers me to find the strength within me during this really difficult time in my life.

Hero

~ Songwriters: Mariah Carey / Walter Afanasieff

There’s a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don’t have to be afraid
Of what you are
There’s an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

It’s a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And that emptiness you felt
Will disappear

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you, oh, oh

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don’t let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time you’ll find the way

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you
That a hero lies in you
Mmm, that a hero lies in you

πŸ€— Friends Forever 🌺

My ex-boyfriend texted me yesterday with a photo of a fridge and asked if I remember about it? He’s the man I consider to be my soulmate, the one I was in a long-term committed relationship with before I met my soon-to-be ex-husband.

Friends Forever (Graduation) ~ Vitamin C

We both share a lot in common and always have so many things to talk about. He’s also very protective of me and always wants to make me laugh. We both met in school 22 years ago almost to this date. We clicked instantly as if we’ve known each other for many lifetimes. We were both staying at the dormitory and were together all the time.

I’m accident-prone and often bump into things. He’d get so angry at the objects I bumped into and swear at them and kick them. 😝 We made many friends at school and often hung out together. We never seemed to run out of fun things to do or talk about. One night, he told me to jump on his back and gave me a piggyback ride around campus. The security guards saw us and thought that we were an adorable couple. πŸ₯°

Another time, I bumped my leg against the bedstand (which I still do, up to this day πŸ™„) and he got so mad at the bedstand and started kicking it and scolding it. He saw me laughing and decided to hit his forehead against the wall, which made me laugh even harder! 🀣

After a few months of dating, we decided to move into a place of our own and start our lives together. We made love at least once every single day since the beginning for the first year and when it went down to three to four times a week, I actually got worried that our relationship may not be as strong as it used to be. I consider lovemaking a very important aspect of a relationship, as it’s the ultimate union of two souls ~ in the mind, body, and spirit.

He couldn’t stand to be away from me and told me that whenever we’re not together, he misses me so much and can’t wait to come home and be with me.

You’ve probably heard about the joke asking how many lawyers (or blondes) it takes to change a lightbulb, right? Well, my ex told me from the beginning that he does not want me to change any lightbulbs because he’s afraid that I might fall when standing on a stool to change a lightbulb.

I also remember us getting into an argument once and I got so mad I drove off. I didn’t know how to fill up gas at a gas station because there were no self-service gas stations in South Africa back then. I actually had to ask someone who was pumping gas how to pop open my gas cap, and how to pump gas. My ex was relieved when I finally came home and when I told him that I filled up my own gas, he was so happy and grateful. He thanked me for learning how to pump my own gas so that he won’t have to worry that I might run out of gas while driving on my own one of these days. πŸ˜›

There was another time when I almost passed out while showering because I wasn’t feeling well. I told him about it after he came home. Ever since then, he would go and check on me if he felt that I was in the bathroom for too long.

He’s really very caring and protective towards me. The downside of this though is him being too possessive and controlling as well. He also gets angry easily and was not able to control his anger at times, which has hurt me deeply, up to this day…

He also has road rage and sometimes would scare the heck out of me because I have no idea that he’s decided to race really quickly to the car that cut him off and hit the brakes at the very last second. I just thought that he lost control and we were going to crash. This often triggered my fear response and sends me into a state of panic.

I think his anger issues and possessiveness were one of the main reasons that caused us to grow apart. He called me and texted me all the time every single day, which I appreciated since I loved talking to him. But there were phases when he was going a bit overboard like when I already told him that I’m having lunch with my friends and he’ll intentionally call me at that time and wanted me to have a long conversation with him so that everyone will know that I have a boyfriend.

There is a fine line between caring and overcaring, and sometimes it’s so hard to find that balance. I think that’s what we’re all striving for in our lives, to find the right balance in everything that we do.

We’ve been keeping in constant contact all this time, sometimes more often than others. He has kept everything of mine, most of which I don’t even remember, and he’ll text me a photo of something of mine, or of me, that he just saw and reminisce about the past.

After we decided to just be friends, he still wanted to be intimate with me but I didn’t give in to my desires, the main reason being that I wanted us to be friends forever. I knew that if we still had intimacy and crossed that line, then things will get confusing between us and we won’t be able to remain friends. It is so important for me to have him as my friend for the rest of our lives since there is such a strong bond between us.

We’ve been through some tough times and arguments throughout all this time, but we both know that we will always be there for each other in our times of need. I’d been telling him ever since my ex-husband’s company went under in Sept 2019 that we may be moving back to SoCal and he has been very supportive of our move all this time. He just asked me recently if I’m moving back to LA and I told him not yet.

I’m very appreciative and grateful that I still have him as a good friend in my life, who will always welcome me back with open arms if I decide to move back to SoCal after my divorce is finalized.

Friends Forever… πŸ€—

Friends Forever (Graduation)

~ Vitamin C

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same (Same)

But when we leave this year, we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out ’cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now
‘Cause you don’t have another day

‘Cause we’re moving on, and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn’t know much of love, but it came too soon (Too soon)

And there was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin’ on the telephone
And we would get so excited, and we’d get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever

So if we get the big jobs, and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule

Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly (Ooh ooh ooh)
And this is how it feels

As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (We will still be friends forever)

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men

Will the past be a shadow that will follow us ’round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not goodbye (It’s not goodbye)
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly

As we go on, we remember (We remember)
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever (Come whatever)
We will still be friends forever (Always)

As we go on, we remember (As we go on)
All the times we had together (Yeah)
And as our lives change, come whatever (Come whatever)
We will still be, friends forever

As we go on, we remember (Oh, yes, we remember)
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever (Always remember)

πŸ’­ Thoughts for September 2022 🌺

  • Theme for the Month:
  • Reflection
  • Affirmations for the Month:
  • I embrace my past and am thankful for the lessons I have learned.
  • I let go of my fears, anxieties, and negative thoughts.
  • I trust my gut and follow my heart and intuition.
  • Saturday (09/03/22):
  • It’s September now, can you believe that? In less than four months, 2022 will be over.
  • I’ve been experiencing writer’s block lately, probably because I feel emotionally blocked as well.
  • I’m still going through two long training programs to build my affiliate marketing website mindbodylist.com and because I got hasty and skipped many lessons, I just realized that I didn’t do a lot of things the “best” way. So now I have to redo them again, sigh…
  • It’s important that I do everything correctly though, in terms of SEO optimization, and not violating Amazon’s terms of service. Otherwise, I’ll get banned from Amazon as being an affiliate and I definitely don’t want that.
  • I also have to go back and watch a whole bunch of training videos that I skipped so that I don’t discover later on down the road that I did something wrong again. Haste makes waste! 😒
  • I’m currently writing articles on crystals and am supposed to write 100 articles on them. Are you kidding me????? Every crystal I write about seems to all be the same now. I’m not even sure what I’m writing about anymore…
  • I was halfway through a journal entry but decided not to continue writing that journal entry either…
  • Sunday (09/04/22):
  • I pushed through my mental blocks and published my 5th article just now on mindbodylist.com. Woohoo! πŸ˜ƒ
  • Wednesday (09/07/22):
  • Yay! I got my very first commission sales from MindBodyList.com thanks to my dear friend, Mr. G! I have to get at least two more sales recorded before Amazon will officially accept my account’s validity permanently.
  • I asked some of my friends on Sunday to please click on my product recommendations if they need to order anything from Amazon. Mr. G did it right away, even though he didn’t need to order anything from Amazon.
  • Getting the first commission sales from Amazon within a limited time period is very important. Otherwise, my account will get closed, I’ll have to reapply and change every single link for my products to my new account. So far, I’ve only written 5 articles, but that’s already 165 links and it’s very time-consuming, not to mention, discouraging…
  • Getting this first commission sale recognition from Amazon has now given me the strength and courage to continue writing more articles (which are kind of overtaxing on my brain right now) on my website.
  • Thank you so much, Mr. G! You’re such a good friend! πŸ˜ƒ

😘 Beautiful Girls πŸ’ƒ

I heard this song at the gym a few days ago. I love the beat to this song. πŸ’“ I am finally getting a grip on publishing articles on MindBodySpirit.com. My goal is to publish at least 3 SEO-optimized articles per week and then increase it to 4 by the end of September 2022. Woohoo! πŸ˜ƒ

Beautiful Girls ~ Sean Kingston

Beautiful Girls

~ Sean Kingston

You’re way too beautiful girl
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it’s over

See it started at the park
Used to chill after dark
Oh when you took my heart
That’s when we fell apart

‘Cause we both thought
That love last forever (last forever)
They say we too young
To get ourselves sprung

Oh we didn’t care
We made it very clear
And they also said
That we couldn’t last together (last together)

See it’s very defined
You’re one of a kind
But you mash up my mind
You haffi get declined
Oh Lord
My baby is driving me crazy

You’re way too beautiful girl
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it’s over

It was back in ’99
Watching movies all the time
Oh when I went away
For doing my first crime

And I never thought
That we was gonna see each other (see each other)
And then I came out
Mommy moved me down South

Oh I’m with my girl
Who I thought was my world
It came out to be
That she wasn’t the girl for me (girl for me)

See it’s very defined
You’re one of a kind
But you mash up my mind
You haffi get declined
Oh Lord
My baby is driving me crazy

You’re way too beautiful girl
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal
When they say it’s over

Now we’re fussing
And now we’re fighting
Please tell me why
I am feeling slighted
And I don’t know
How to make it better (make it better)

You’re dating other guys
You’re telling me lies
Oh I can’t believe
What I’m seeing with my eyes
I’m losing my mind
And I don’t think it’s clever (think it’s clever)

You’re way too beautiful girl
That’s why it’ll never work
You’ll have me suicidal, suicidal
When you say it’s over
Damn all these beautiful girls
They only wanna do you dirt
They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal, suicidal, suicidal