My ex-boyfriend texted me yesterday with a photo of a fridge and asked if I remember about it? He’s the man I consider to be my soulmate, the one I was in a long-term committed relationship with before I met my soon-to-be ex-husband.
We both share a lot in common and always have so many things to talk about. He’s also very protective of me and always wants to make me laugh. We both met in school 22 years ago almost to this date. We clicked instantly as if we’ve known each other for many lifetimes. We were both staying at the dormitory and were together all the time.
I’m accident-prone and often bump into things. He’d get so angry at the objects I bumped into and swear at them and kick them. π We made many friends at school and often hung out together. We never seemed to run out of fun things to do or talk about. One night, he told me to jump on his back and gave me a piggyback ride around campus. The security guards saw us and thought that we were an adorable couple. π₯°
Another time, I bumped my leg against the bedstand (which I still do, up to this day π) and he got so mad at the bedstand and started kicking it and scolding it. He saw me laughing and decided to hit his forehead against the wall, which made me laugh even harder! π€£
After a few months of dating, we decided to move into a place of our own and start our lives together. We made love at least once every single day since the beginning for the first year and when it went down to three to four times a week, I actually got worried that our relationship may not be as strong as it used to be. I consider lovemaking a very important aspect of a relationship, as it’s the ultimate union of two souls ~ in the mind, body, and spirit.
He couldn’t stand to be away from me and told me that whenever we’re not together, he misses me so much and can’t wait to come home and be with me.
You’ve probably heard about the joke asking how many lawyers (or blondes) it takes to change a lightbulb, right? Well, my ex told me from the beginning that he does not want me to change any lightbulbs because he’s afraid that I might fall when standing on a stool to change a lightbulb.
I also remember us getting into an argument once and I got so mad I drove off. I didn’t know how to fill up gas at a gas station because there were no self-service gas stations in South Africa back then. I actually had to ask someone who was pumping gas how to pop open my gas cap, and how to pump gas. My ex was relieved when I finally came home and when I told him that I filled up my own gas, he was so happy and grateful. He thanked me for learning how to pump my own gas so that he won’t have to worry that I might run out of gas while driving on my own one of these days. π
There was another time when I almost passed out while showering because I wasn’t feeling well. I told him about it after he came home. Ever since then, he would go and check on me if he felt that I was in the bathroom for too long.
He’s really very caring and protective towards me. The downside of this though is him being too possessive and controlling as well. He also gets angry easily and was not able to control his anger at times, which has hurt me deeply, up to this day…
He also has road rage and sometimes would scare the heck out of me because I have no idea that he’s decided to race really quickly to the car that cut him off and hit the brakes at the very last second. I just thought that he lost control and we were going to crash. This often triggered my fear response and sends me into a state of panic.
I think his anger issues and possessiveness were one of the main reasons that caused us to grow apart. He called me and texted me all the time every single day, which I appreciated since I loved talking to him. But there were phases when he was going a bit overboard like when I already told him that I’m having lunch with my friends and he’ll intentionally call me at that time and wanted me to have a long conversation with him so that everyone will know that I have a boyfriend.
There is a fine line between caring and overcaring, and sometimes it’s so hard to find that balance. I think that’s what we’re all striving for in our lives, to find the right balance in everything that we do.
We’ve been keeping in constant contact all this time, sometimes more often than others. He has kept everything of mine, most of which I don’t even remember, and he’ll text me a photo of something of mine, or of me, that he just saw and reminisce about the past.
After we decided to just be friends, he still wanted to be intimate with me but I didn’t give in to my desires, the main reason being that I wanted us to be friends forever. I knew that if we still had intimacy and crossed that line, then things will get confusing between us and we won’t be able to remain friends. It is so important for me to have him as my friend for the rest of our lives since there is such a strong bond between us.
We’ve been through some tough times and arguments throughout all this time, but we both know that we will always be there for each other in our times of need. I’d been telling him ever since my ex-husband’s company went under in Sept 2019 that we may be moving back to SoCal and he has been very supportive of our move all this time. He just asked me recently if I’m moving back to LA and I told him not yet.
I’m very appreciative and grateful that I still have him as a good friend in my life, who will always welcome me back with open arms if I decide to move back to SoCal after my divorce is finalized.
Friends Forever… π€
Friends Forever (Graduation)
~ Vitamin C
And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same (Same)
But when we leave this year, we won’t be coming back
No more hanging out ’cause we’re on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now
‘Cause you don’t have another day
‘Cause we’re moving on, and we can’t slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn’t know much of love, but it came too soon (Too soon)
And there was me and you, and then it got real blue
Stay at home talkin’ on the telephone
And we would get so excited, and we’d get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life’s not fair
And this is how it feels
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
So if we get the big jobs, and we make the big money
When we look back now, will that joke still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won’t interfere with her tan?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not goodbye
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly (Ooh ooh ooh)
And this is how it feels
As we go on, we remember
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la (We will still be friends forever)
Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there? Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it’s like we’re women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us ’round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town?
I keep, keep thinking that it’s not goodbye (It’s not goodbye)
Keep on thinking it’s a time to fly
As we go on, we remember (We remember)
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever (Come whatever)
We will still be friends forever (Always)
As we go on, we remember (As we go on)
All the times we had together (Yeah)
And as our lives change, come whatever (Come whatever)
We will still be, friends forever
As we go on, we remember (Oh, yes, we remember)
All the times we had together
And as our lives change, come whatever
We will still be friends forever (Always remember)