Month: September 2021

I went to the Ma’ema’e Elementary School in Honolulu, Hawaii after Dad got transferred from Calexico, California, to Honolulu, Hawaii when I was 6 years old. Dad was made an honorary citizen of Calexico (and given an honorary key) before we departed for Hawaii. I have some very sweet memories of living in both Calexico and Honolulu.

This was during the era where people will just take your word for it and will not ask for proof of identification. Therefore, my Dear mother decided to send me off to school earlier than I was supposed to. She did it so that I can start learning from an earlier age, but I told mom that this has actually affected the behavior aspects of my life. I’m always the youngest in the class (and at home), and I’m always the most immature one in the class, because… I’m not supposed to be in the class yet! 😒 I’m an Aries, I was born a leader. But because of this, I end up becoming a follower in life…

My English name was actually “Mary”, and when mom decided to send me off to school earlier in Calexico, she changed my name to “Helen”, and reported my age older than my actual age. I actually think I prefer the name “Mary”, as “Helen” often gets mispronounced & misspelled as “Hellen”, “Ellen”, or “Halen”, etc. There was a phase when I got so annoyed about it, that when I went and ordered for food pickup, I’ll just give them a name that’s easy to pronounce and spell, such as “Susan”. I just had to remember that when they called “Susan”, that they’re actually calling me. If I had a choice though, I think I would prefer to be called “Cindy”, like the supermodel, “Cindy Crawford”. I just think that “Cindy” is a sweet name, and kind of suits my personality.

When we arrived in South Africa, it was early in the morning. My Dear father took my sister and I straight to our high school! 🙄 Since we started in the middle of the school year, I could be bumped up a year, or bumped down a year. They gave my sister and I some tests, e.g. Math test, to see where to place us. Guess what they chose for me? They bumped me up a year. Taiwan is about 2 years ahead of the US and other Western countries in terms of the Mathematics curriculum, and I remember the teacher was telling the entire class how good my Math is. So once again, I’m even more younger now than my classmates…

So, this is why I ended up starting dental school at the young age of 17, when my EQ was no where near the level of my IQ…

Ma’ema’e School Song

When the sun shines in the valley, O’er our school so cool and green,

underneath the shady monkeypod, happy children work and play.

In our hearts there’ll always be,

thoughts of dear old Ma’ema’e.

Picturesque you’ll always be,

a school so very dear to me.

Picturesque you’ll always be,

a school so very dear so me.

Loyal to our banner gay, green and yellow proudly wave.

Always forward, never backward, lead us each and every day.

In our hearts there’ll always be,

thoughts of dear old Ma’ema’e.

Picturesque you’ll always be,

a school so very dear to me.

Picturesque you’ll always be,

a school so very dear so me.

• Theme for the Week:
• 🌺 I AM Becoming Healthier and Happier Each and Every Day! 😃
• Affirmations for the Week:
• 🌺 I accept that Happiness is my true nature!
• 🌺 I create the life that I desire with my good feelings!
• 🌺 Everything is always working out well for me!
• Sunday (09/05/21):
• 🍰 Today is my Dearest Daddy’s Birthday!
• 🍰 I called my parents to wish him Happy Birthday! He received our birthday card a few days ago and was very happy to hear my voice! 😃
• 🍰 I also spoke with mom regarding my sister. It helps both my mom and myself when we talk about my sister; to resolve the torment and conflict within ourselves.
• 🍰 Happy Birthday My Dearest Daddy! I Love You So Much! 🥰
• Monday (09/06/21):
• 🍁 Sorting out more issues in South Africa now…
• 🍁 I’m glad that I’ve developed a mindset of accepting that there is a possibility of issues arising from Dad’s stuff in South Africa on a consistent basis.
• 🍁 So now, I’m able to just treat it as an “issue” that needs to be taken care of, instead of the “Oh My Gosh! The Sky is Falling again!” mentality.
• 🍁 I’m glad I stopped working the bilingual customer service job because that required me to stay up late, and then I don’t sleep well, and/or wake up late.
• 🍁 Now, I’m slowly getting my sleep back on track, and am able to feel more alert when I wake up in the morning.
• 🍁 South Africa is 7 hours ahead of Minnesota, so I’m able to still get some email correspondences done in real time when I’m up in the morning and in front of my computer.
• 🍑 I don’t know when I’ll be able to take the full recommended dosages for the supplements that Dr. P has prescribed for me. I’m supposed to be taking up to 5000mg of Vitamin C, and up to 5000mg of fish oil per day. Are you kidding me???
• 🍑 It’s been over 2 weeks since I last saw him, and I’m still stuck on taking 1000mg of each per day.
• 🍑 I’m also supposed to be drinking 2 tablespoons of olive oil per day. Good thing that I’ve now substituted salad dressing with organic extra virgin olive oil, apple cider vinegar and lime/lemon juice instead.
• Tuesday (09/07/21):
• 😝 My hubby is really funny! I place all of his online orders for him ~ personal and work-related, on Amazon. Whenever he wants to buy something for himself, sometimes, just to save me from asking why he wants to buy it, he’ll just ask me in his email to charge it to his company’s account (for tax deduction purposes).
• 😝 I think he knows very well that I always take the “rather safe than sorry” approach, so will just order it for him, but not include it as business-related expenses.
• 😝 My personality is such that I don’t guesstimate. I’ll calculate his daily mileages exactly to the T, which is so time consuming and boring. That’s actually one the biggest pains in my life ~ to calculate his daily mileages. I need to figure out what can be included as his business-related mileages, and what can not. Why can’t he just stay put? 🤔
• 😝 It’s just really funny of the things that he wants me to order for him, and “to charge to his company’s account”, knowing very well that I will not! 🤪
• Wednesday (09/08/21):
• 🔮 I had my first Tarot Masterclass yesterday afternoon. 😃
• 🔮 The Tarot is one of the most powerful life coaching tools.
• 🔮 Going through the video replay again now. I’m excited to learn how to do my own Tarot readings soon, and hopefully, can do reading for clients as well.
• 🔮 I also just joined Richard Knight’s “7 Week Psychic Development Masterclass” that’s starting next Thursday now. I’m already pretty intuitive and psychic, but I want to make them even stronger now! 😃
• 💐 I had a DBT individual session yesterday afternoon and we spoke about my sister. I felt so tired afterwards. It’s helpful though…
• Thursday (09/09/21):
• 🎂 Today is my Dearest Mommy’s Birthday! 😃 Gonna call her a bit later on to see how everyone’s doing, and to wish her Happy Birthday! 💐
• 🎂 Happy Birthday My Dearest Mommy! I Love You So So Much!!! 🥰
• 🧘‍♀️ I told my PT quite a while back that I’m wearing a posture corrector to help keep a good posture and asked him if that was a good idea?
• 🧘‍♀️He said in the short term. However, he doesn’t recommend it in the long run; as people tend to use it as a crutch, and the body stops maintaining good posture on its own without it after a while.
• 🧘‍♀️ I wear it every morning for at least an hour when I’m in front of my computer. However, I just noticed now that even with my posture corrector on, I’m still slouching slightly! 😲
• 🧘‍♀️ I guess my body has gotten so used to it now, and is just treating it as a decoration, instead of a reminder to maintain a good posture.
• 🧘‍♀️ I’m going to pay extra attention now to my posture for at least the next week, and not rely on my posture corrector to do so. I want to particularly be aware of what kind of bad posture my body has gotten used to.
• ⚜️ My ears should line up over my shoulder, which lines up over the hip. When I stand, those points should align over the ankle.
• ⚜️ Proper Posture
• 🌷 I called mom just now to wish her Happy Birthday and we were talking about my sister again. She’s writing a letter to my sister’s psychiatrist and was reading the letter to me over the phone.
• 🌷 I gave my mom some suggestions and she agreed with what I thought.
• 🌷 I kind of lost my patience with my mom for a while, and I feel bad about it, especially since it’s her birthday today. 😥 However, my mom is the complete opposite to my husband when it comes to answering questions.
• 🌷 My husband will give a one sentence answer with no explanation whatsoever. My mom, on the other hand, will start explaining a whole lot, and at the end, I’m still confused as to what the answer is? 😕
• 🌷 I got so frustrated eventually because I kept on asking my mom some simple Yes/No questions, but she just kept on giving a whole lot of explanations without giving me a final Yes or No answer.
• 🌷 A simple example, would be like for instance:
• Me: Mom, have you eaten breakfast yet?
• Mom: I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t fall back asleep again for hours. I was awake thinking about your sister all that time. Your father got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and he was able to fall back asleep right afterwards, blah, blah, blah…..
• Me, thinking in my head: So mom, did you eat your breakfast yet, or not?????
• And lately, I’ve noticed, she does that almost every time I ask her a question. It’s kind of driving my crazy….
• 🌷 I apologized to my mom for losing my patience but I asked her in the future to please first answer Yes, or No, to my question, and then give her lengthy explanation afterwards.
• Friday (09/10/21):
• 🌸 Fifth (Throat) Chakra ~ Creative Expression
• 🌸 I am committed to sharing and revealing my thoughts and feelings by being creative in my communication style and using expressive language.
• 🌸 I express myself through talking, singing, sighing, laughing and crying and through my creative talents.
• 🌸 I consciously use my senses to experience my world more fully.
• 🌸 I see, hear, smell and feel more, and I become more aware of my surroundings, such as the weather, aromas, people, nature, sounds and sights.
• Saturday (09/11/21):
• 🕊️ I spoke with Mom just now. She wrote another letter to my sister’s psychiatrist, and wanted to know what I think. I told Mom that she wrote it very well, as it came from her heart. But I did remind my mom not to write any more letters, because these doctors are really busy, having to see hundreds of patients a day in the institution.
• 🕊️ I got annoyed with Mom once again. We were ending the call on a very nice note. However, mom had to bring up my husband again. My parents have this very traditional, incorrect point of view towards marriage ~ that the woman has to do all the work, especially when it comes to maintaining the connection within the marriage. I told my mom once again, that relationships are a two-way street. Both people have to want to make it work, in order for it to work.
• 🕊️I have found throughout the years that relationships, unfortunately, is the one thing that you have to rely on the other person, in order to make it work. You can study hard, get good grades, and have an excellent career. However, even if you work very hard on your relationship, it still doesn’t always guarantee the results you want. Both people must want to make it work, in order for it to work.
• 🕊️ I asked Mom to please take care of herself, take care of my sister, and take care of Dad, and let me handle my relationship problems on my own. As no one else will be able help me with my relationship problems, except for my husband and myself. Sometimes, too many opinions from outsiders that know nothing about what happens behind closed doors, will end up causing even more damage to the relationship.
• 🕊️ I did try to be patient with mom this time. However, I’m still feeling slightly annoyed as it’s triggering a lot of unresolved issues between my husband and myself.
• 🕊️ I tell myself that she’s doing this out of love. It may not be the correct way to do it, and it may not be in her place to be interfering in my marriage, but her intentions are sincere, and that’s enough for me to let it go…
• 🕊️ Today is the 20th anniversary of 9/11. I pray that all the innocent souls whose lives were taken away, and the lives that were affected even up to this day, to be able to find some peace, forgiveness, and resolution to this tragic day…

I love singing! ❤️ Mom says that I have the voice of an angel 👼, which is something that I inherited from her, who used to be in the choir. I used to play the piano 🎹. I also used to play the acoustic guitar 🎸 and sing along. My parents bought me a fancy piano & a fancy acoustic guitar back in high school, and mom took me to my piano and guitar lessons every week.

I’ve been thinking lately of starting to play the guitar again. The problem with playing the guitar is that you end up with a lot of callouses on the finger pads of your left hand. My finger pads are back to being smooth now since I haven’t played the guitar for a long time. You also can’t grow the fingernails long on your left hand, which I am fine with, but then you’re supposed to grow them long on your right hand (or use a pick whenever you strum the guitar), which feels kind of weird…

I used to play the guitar with my family and we’d all sing along. After my dad got transferred back to Taiwan, we compiled a tape recording of many songs of me playing the guitar and us singing along. That tape is still back in Taiwan. I should get it converted into mp3 the next time I’m back in Taiwan.

I feel so happy when I sing. It turns out that singing also stimulates your vagus nerve, which activates your parasympathetic system and helps calm you down. So, that’s definitely a good thing for me.

When I sing, it brings up a lot of emotions deep inside of me, and helps me to express it outwards. A lot of my feelings, thoughts, emotions and deepest desires are inside of my guitar… 💗

Inside of My Guitar

~ The Bellamy Brothers

Now, there’s a place I want to show you
And don’t you know it’s not too far
And there’s a place I want to know you
Inside of my guitar

In my guitar there is a garden
Where rainbows bloom and shine like stars
If you say no, I beg you pardon
Come inside of my guitar

I’ll make you laugh
And make you sing
And we can play among the stars
And we’ll make love and dance beneath the strings
Inside of my guitar

Now, there’s a feeling that I’m after
So please don’t think my love’s bizarre
But I hear music, girl, and laughter
Inside of my guitar

I’ll make you laugh
And make you sing
And we can play among the stars
And we’ll make love and dance beneath the strings
Inside of my guitar

Come inside of my guitar…

I went to the Pretoria High School for Girls in South Africa.  It is a Catholic school and we attend mass and sing hymns every morning. We have a strict uniform code, and we must wear our beret and coat outside of school.  My sister and I got caught once by our school headmistress for not wearing our beret while out shopping.  Good thing my dad’s a diplomat so she let us off easy.  😛

Our headmistress, Miss Mullins was a very strict lady. Sometimes, she’ll tell all of us to lift our skirts up during mass, being that it’s an all girl’s school, to see if we’re all wearing our ugly green underwear uniform. I just did a Google search now and saw that she passed away in December 2006. Her fiancée died in the Angolan Bush War, and she never remarried. May her soul rest in peace, she has finally reunited with him in heaven. 🌄

“Morning Has Broken” by Cat Stevens was one of my favorite religious songs. I was born a Buddhist and sometimes got annoyed that I had to attend mass every single morning and attend Scripture classes. Good thing that we sang a lot of songs during our Scripture classes. I love singing! It’s how I best express my emotions, my creative juices, and my love!

I have since then become a lot more spiritual, rather than just religious. I accept that there is one True Source, that may come in the form of many different religions, e.g. Buddhism, Catholicism, and Christianity, etc.

This song is a praise to the “Most High“, to God’s Ultimate Creations ~ the beauty that we see all around us, and the beauty that is within all of us. The spirit of God is within all of us, we are all a part of God, whatever your interpretation of God may be…

I have been through a lot of difficult times in my life. However, I AM so thankful and grateful for all that I have in my life. Thank you Divine Source for filling my life with so much love, joy and laughter! 🌹

Morning Has Broken

~ Cat Stevens

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world

Sweet the rains new fall, sunlit from Heaven
Like the first dewfall on the first grass
Praise for the sweetness of the wet garden
Sprung in completeness where His feet pass

Mine is the sunlight, mine is the morning
Born of the one light, Eden saw play
Praise with elation, praise every morning
God’s recreation of the new day

Morning has broken like the first morning
Blackbird has spoken like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for them springing fresh from the world