I heard this song playing at my chiropractor’s office this afternoon. On “Memories” by “Maroon 5”, Adam Levine is addressing a close friend whom he has been separated from for some time that he misses very much. He has been devoid of the company of this loved one for so long and is now forced to rely on ‘memories’ of the two of them being together.
It has brought back so many memories of my past ~ of my loved ones, my pets, and most of all… my sister. I miss my sister so much, it tears my heart into pieces. I’m so scared to think of my sister, because I’ve had such wonderful memories with her and we have such a close bond, but that bond is no longer there anymore. It’s not because we no longer love each other, but because my sister’s mind is not what it used to be. It’s been like this for so long now…
Sometimes, my brain tells me that I no longer feel that deep connection with her, but my heart tells me otherwise. My heart tells me that our love for each other is so deep that nothing will ever tear us apart. She is my soulmate, my best friend. She loves me unconditionally and accepts me exactly as I am. She sees the beauty within me that I don’t even see myself.
When I came back to Taiwan from the UK, after deciding to stop being a dentist, I had a severe allergic reaction to a facial cream and my entire face had breakouts all over, which lasted for months. I felt so embarrassed that I didn’t want to get out of the house during the day. I only went out at night, hoping that people won’t notice me in the dark. My parents jokingly said that I’ve now become an owl. My sister told me that when she looks at me, she does not see the hundreds of breakouts on my face, she only sees that sweet, loving, dear me. I was so touched, I will never forget what she said to me that day.
She does not belong in this world, she is too good for this world. She is so loving, kind, generous, sweet, compassionate and trusting. And yet, she now has to stay in a psychiatric institution for life. My heart breaks when I think about that, so I dare not think. I dare not miss her. I dare not remember all our times together, and all the sweet memories we’ve shared since childhood.
I’m so scared to think of my sister. I’m so scared to miss her. We’ve shared such wonderful memories together, just thinking of them makes me long to be with her again. And yet, most of the time, she lives in this fantasy world where she talks to her fairies and thinks that she runs the psychiatric institution. She stands up for the other patients and oftentimes she ends up getting punished for doing that. e.g. if a patient gets tied up for doing something bad, she’ll go and untie the patient, and then she ends up getting tied up herself. She can’t stand injustice. I also can’t stand injustice. However, I don’t have the kind of courage that she has. If it was me, I wouldn’t dare go and untie the patient, knowing that I will get punished for doing that. I respect her for her courage so much, but then I also feel so mad at her for not knowing how to protect her own interests first. And all this for what? That patient still gets tied up again, and now so has she!
I just realized now that my love and longing for my sister may be a major reason I’ve always ended up in either abusive relationships or relationships where I feel that I need to ‘rescue’ the other person, e.g. with his addiction. Since I love my sister so much, but she has this lifelong psychiatric illness that started when she was 18, I think in my mind, I just associated true love with pain & suffering. And of course, I can’t help but to subconsciously feel being abandoned by my sister since she hardly has any lucid moments anymore, so I can not even have a heart-to-heart conversation with her, like we used to. This has also triggered my sense of abandonment. That the one person that I love so much and who loves me equally so, will just end up abandoning me for good.
I love my sister so much, and that’s why it hurts so bad. I miss her so much. Why was I gifted with my best friend since I was a child, just to have her mind taken away by this psychiatric illness? Why is life so unfair? Why did this have to happen to her? Why doesn’t bad things happen to bad people? Why does bad things happen to kind, loving people like my sister? Why?!!!!!
She was also accepted into dental school, and she was also accepted into architecture school. She is so intelligent, creative, and artistic. She drew post-impressionism paintings just like van Gogh. I feel that she’s just like van Gogh ~ an artistic genius tormented by too many creative thoughts in her mind. Sigh…..
Thinking back, my dissociation started around two years ago, when my parents finally made the painful decision to place her in a psychiatric institution for life after her second failed suicide attempt. I think this huge blow to my heart also played an enormous role to me dissociating again. I cried every single day for months and finally, I just wanted to numb myself. I guess the dissociation in a way freezes my thoughts to help me numb my feelings. However, numbing them is only a temporary relief because whenever something reminds me of my sister, I start crying a lot.
Memories… what do I do with all these precious, loving and happy memories I have with my sister? What do I do with them? They cause me so much pain because they remind me of what I will never be able to experience with her again.
I miss you so much. I wish we never had to grow up. I wish you never got ill. I wish I could experience all those happy moments with you again. I’m so scared to face you. I feel so guilty that you are in a psychiatric institution for life and yet I am unable to help you. I want to take care of you but I don’t know how. I want to accept you as who you are now, but I can’t. I miss the old you so much. Please forgive me that I still can not accept you as who you are now. I am trying, please be patient with me. I love you so much, this hurts so much. I miss you so much…
Memories
~ Maroon 5
Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
There’s a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain
When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same
Now my heart feel like December when somebody say your name
‘Cause I can’t reach out to call you, but I know I will one day, yeah
Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts someday, ayy ayy
But everything gon’ be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, ayy
Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
There’s a time that I remember when I never felt so lost
When I felt all of the hatred was too powerful to stop (ooh, yeah)
Now my heart feel like an ember and it’s lighting up the dark
I’ll carry these torches for ya that you know I’ll never drop, yeah
Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts someday, ayy ayy
But everything gon’ be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, ayy
Here’s to the ones that we got (oh)
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through (no, no)
Toast to the ones here today (ayy)
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the drinks bring back all the memories (ayy)
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
Doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo (ooh, yeah)
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, doh, doh
Memories bring back, memories bring back you
Source(s): https://www.songmeaningsandfacts.com/maroon-5s-memories-lyrics-meaning/