I love singing this song. I’ve loved it since the first day it came out. It brings out my deepest desires, the allowance of giving myself a chance towards a new life that is filled with true love, joy and happiness.
Shallow – Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper
The movie itself is sad, kind of like the movie “Leaving Las Vegas” with Nicholas Cage. Once again dealing with fear, despair and addiction.
The lyrics and the melody though are so beautiful. It speaks of hope and taking a leap of faith into the unknown, armed with nothing except for the love for one another. This is the soulmate type of love, or the twin-flame type of love, when the two halves of the twin flames finally reunite and become one ~ an unconditional, everlasting true love. I long for that…
Shallow
~ Lady Gaga
Tell me somethin’, girl Are you happy in this modern world? Or do you need more? Is there somethin’ else you’re searchin’ for?
I’m fallin’ In all the good times I find myself longin’ for change And in the bad times, I fear myself
Tell me something, boy Aren’t you tired tryin’ to fill that void? Or do you need more? Ain’t it hard keepin’ it so hardcore?
I’m falling In all the good times I find myself longing for change And in the bad times, I fear myself
I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in I’ll never meet the ground Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us We’re far from the shallow now
In the sha-ha-sha-ha-llow In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-llow In the sha-ha-sha-ha-llow We’re far from the shallow now
Oh, ha-ah-ah Ah, ha-ah-ah, oh, ah Ha-ah-ah-ah
I’m off the deep end, watch as I dive in I’ll never meet the ground Crash through the surface, where they can’t hurt us We’re far from the shallow now
In the sha-ha-sha-ha-llow In the sha-ha-sha-la-la-la-llow In the sha-ha-sha-ha-llow We’re far from the shallow now
I feel lighter now, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I started my day off with a successful virtual meeting. Today will be an awesome day! 😝
Clock strikes upon the hour And the sun begins to fade Still enough time to figure out How to chase my blues away I’ve done alright up ’til now It’s the light of day that shows me how And when the night falls Loneliness calls
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
I’ve been in love and lost my senses Spinning through the town Sooner or later the fever ends And I wind up feeling down I need a man who’ll take a chance On a love that burns hot enough to last So when the night falls My lonely heart calls
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
Somebody who, somebody who Somebody who loves me Somebody who, somebody who To hold me in his arms, oh
I need a man who’ll take a chance On a love that burns hot enough to last So when the night falls My lonely heart calls
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves me
Oh, I wanna dance with somebody I wanna feel the heat with somebody Yeah, I wanna dance with somebody With somebody who loves meOooh (Dance) You know, baby (Dance) Woo, yeah (Dance) Now get with this Woah
Don’t you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby? Don’t you wanna dance (dance) with me, boy? Hey, don’t you wanna dance (dance) with me, baby? With somebody who loves me
Don’t you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don’t you wanna dance? (Dance)Don’t you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance? Don’t you wanna dance? (Dance)Don’t you wanna dance? Say you wanna dance, uh-huh (dance) With somebody who loves me
I went through a long and painful ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ phase last year. They say “What doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger”. Thank goodness I’m still alive, and feel stronger mentally and emotionally now, having surviving through last year.
This song is me defying whoever in the Universe that decided to put my entire family through this painful dark period. We survived, and we are much stronger now!!!
Stronger – My Song to All Adversities in Life!
It wasn’t just the pandemic and my auto-immune issues that were tough on me (and everyone else in this world) last year. So many things happened last year, actually at the end of 2019. It was as if the universe decided to put me through this ‘To Do or To Die’ test. No more dipping my toes to test the waters. Either deal with adversities in life, or be eliminated ~ according to Darwin’s ‘Survival of the Fittest’ theory.
Things started turning south towards the last few months of 2019. The start-up company that my husband was involved with since day 1 (back in California) for the past 13 years, had to shut down in September of 2019. All of a sudden, my husband, who had a very prominent position in that company became nothing. All of our stock options, our retirement to riches, became worthless. Toilet paper was worth much more than our stock option certificates, especially compared to when there was a shortage of toilet paper during the pandemic.
I cannot even try to imagine what my husband went through. This was his baby, that he raised with his heart and soul for 13 years. He gave up his health, his happiness, and even our marriage, for this child, and there were at least twice throughout the years, when the product was going to be marketed and we could finally reap the rewards. This was his invention, his patent, and now the child is dead. The child was put on a ventilator for months, and eventually, the Board members decided that it wasn’t worth saving, and decided to pull the plug. I give him a lot of credit for being able to pull through this painful ordeal, probably because he has already been through so much in his life, so he has developed a strong resiliency towards adversities. I’m not sure I would have been able to get out of this tragedy in one piece; not just financially, but most importantly, psychologically. He had on rare occasions, when out of total desperation, said that somedays he would wake up and just wished that he could drive his car into the opposite side of the traffic and end his misery.
He has not had to look for a job for the past 13 years. All he had to do was keep his baby thriving, hire people and fire people, and now, he has to start from scratch – From Riches to Rags. I felt a parallel sense of tormented emotions just as when I decided to go from being a dentist, to being a “I don’t know what on earth I want to be, so I might as well just be nothing at all” kind of mentality. I’m not even sure I was able to heal that mentality entirely all these years.
We had no idea what to do, or where to go. We thought of doing Amazon deliveries, or driving an Uber. Maybe go back to an isolated place in California, or go back to Taiwan (but not sure of what we’re going to do there). I was going for DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) counseling for my recently discovered untreated PTSD, and various treatments for my aches and pains, but I stopped everything completely, because we lost our excellent medical insurance plan that was through his company.
My husband started working for a company as a third-shift supervisor (and at the same time, trying to attract clients as an independent contractor in the medical device industry) and came home exhausted every single day because he has always been an early bird; going to bed early, and waking up early. But now, he barely has time to sleep. So, that was how we ended 2019 and started 2020.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, my sister got hospitalized after another failed suicide attempt. My mother sank into total despair and desperation and my dad’s memory loss and thyroid tumor worsened. My mother (who now has to be the sole decision maker of the family) finally made the painful decision of sending my sister to a psychiatric institution. Mom became so depressed and worried that she lost a lot of weight and could hardly crawl out of bed each morning. She feared that she wouldn’t have much time left to live so felt that this was the only way for my sister to be taken care of for life. She still feels so much responsibility of having to take care of my father and my sister, and that was probably the only reason that kept her alive. She was also worried about my husband and myself on the other side of the earth, now that we have no financial stability and suffered great financial losses. My mother has never put the burden of taking care of my sister on our shoulders because she knows how stressful that is. But one day, out of total desperation, while we were talking on the phone, she said to me “Didn’t you say that you’re going to come back and live in Taiwan so you can take care of your sister? Will you?”. I did say that when I went back to Taiwan to visit my family, and I feel guilty for not keeping that promise yet. I told mom that I will. I just need more time, but I feel like time is running out with my parents aging every day….
I had no one I could console with and I couldn’t share any of my fears and worries with my husband as he is in a constant state of survival (barely surviving) mode. And of course, he would take his anger and frustrations out on me on a constant basis. “Go get a job!”. “I know you’re going to leave me. Are you a fair-weather wife? I know you’re going to leave me. Just leave me!”. Nothing I do or say makes a difference. None of my words of encouragement makes a difference as words do not put bread on the table. At the end of the day, they are just words. I started trying to save more (I never cared for luxuries in the first place to begin with) and one day I showed him our empty fridge and freezer. I was trying to let him know that I’m being very mindful of everything I buy for us, and make sure that we finish everything so that we don’t waste money. But looking back, I think that triggered his sense of ‘lack’ and he became so angry! I went and got a work-from-home job and was starting to look for more, which was why I ended up taking two contact tracing jobs, but then ended up exhausting myself too much because there’s still so many other things I need to take care of constantly ~ across three continents.
Our townhouse ended up with water leakage, extensive water damage and mold issues. Due to the pandemic; with the lack of staff and lack of supplies, the entire mold demolition and restoration took two months. We had to stay in a hotel during that time. Thank goodness we had accumulated enough hotel reward points, otherwise, that would have been another huge expense for us. The stress of working 3 jobs, being cooped up in a small noisy room, and the constant lack of sleep (since my husband has to wake up in the middle of the night for his third shift job, when I had just finished my shift not long ago and was just starting to fall asleep) took a complete toll on my health. I also had to supervise the demolition and restoration since we still planned on going back to live there after it’s done, and continue to take care of issues across 3 continents.
I think that was the last straw that completely broke down my body. My auto-immune issues got triggered, and my PTSD got triggered as well. I started dissociating a lot, which made me become even more weak and exhausted. I also started experiencing aches and pains everywhere throughout my body.
I still feel like I’m constantly putting out fires. Somedays, I don’t even want to wake up. I’m afraid each morning of checking my emails for another fire that I need to put out. I’m afraid I’ll receive a voicemail from my mom asking me to call her back. I always call my family at least once a week to stay connected, so if my mom calls me, then I get very worried that something is wrong.
But you know what? I’m still alive. I survived! What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am stronger now. To whoever in this Universe that decided to put my entire family through this painful and difficult period – You Will NOT Break Us! We Have Survived! And We Are Much Stronger Now!!!
We Are The World ~ Michael Jackson / Lionel Richie
We Are The World!
~ Michael Jackson / Lionel Richie
There comes a time When we heed a certain call When the world must come together as one There are people dying Oh, and it’s time to lend a hand to life The greatest gift of all
We can’t go on Pretending day-by-day That someone, somewhere soon make a change We’re all a part of God’s great big family And the truth, you know, love is all we need
We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving There’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own lives It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me
Oh, send them your heart So they know that someone cares And their lives will be stronger and free As God has shown us by turning stones to bread And so we all must lend a helping hand
We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving Oh, there’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own lives It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me
When you’re down and out, there seems no hope at all But if you just believe there’s no way we can fall Well, well, well, well let us realize Oh, that a change can only come When we stand together as one, yeah, yeah, yeah
We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving There’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own lives It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me
We are the world We are the children We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving There’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our own lives It’s true we’ll make a better day, just you and me!
We all know, that people are the same, wherever you go. Under the color of our skin, we are all the same. I hope that we can all live in a world of Nirvana, where we all live together in perfect harmony! 🥰
Ebony and Ivory – Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney
Ebony and Ivory
~ Paul McCartney
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don’t we?
We all know that people are the same whereever you go There is good and bad in ev’ryone We learn to live, when we learn to give Each other what we need to survive, together alive
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord why don’t we?
Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, ooh
We all know that people are the same whereever you go There is good and bad in ev’ryone We learn to live, when we learn to give Each other what we need to survive, together alive
Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord why don’t we?
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don’t we Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony Ebony, ivory, living in perfect harmony
This is my new way of living ~ Rising in Love! 🥰 I choose to learn from love, instead of pain. A World waking up, we are rising in Love!
Rising in Love ~ Fia
Rising in Love
~Fia
Every inch of my body each fiber and cell is vibrating with desire high on life itself I’m consciously making space opening and allowing I’m doing the work that’s needed I’m ready, bring it in
‘Cause I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
Breathing deep I feel God within and around me The true light of my being is there for me to see All is becoming clear the veil is oh so thin Everything is changing but I’m ready, bring it in
‘Cause I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
And now I remember why I am here Got nothing to lose all is to gain And I choose to learn from love instead of pain
I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
I know that I am worthy, worthy of it all The wonders and the magic, all I’m dreamin’ of And this is the new way, a new way of living A world waking up, we are rising in love
I can definitely resonate with this song called “I Feel It All” by Fia! I Can Feel It All! I want to meet with you heart-to-heart, soul-to-soul, and have the most divine connection with you! 🥰
I Feel It All ~ Fia
In my eye there’s truth, if you dare to look…
I Feel It All
~ Fia
I am one of those who can’t keep it in And I feel as if I have no skin Walking through this world is intense When you have no defense You can read me like an open book In my eyes there’s truth if you dare to look Sometimes I scare people off By showing my heart from the start
I’ve been called too sensitive Too much of everything But the truth of the matter is that This is my gift And when flowing in my brilliance I’m tuned in, tapped in, turned on And I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all
Let’s dive deep into our human mess Ain’t got time for skimming surfaces No, I want to meet you soul to soul Right away come on let’s go
I’ve been called too sensitive Too much of everything But the truth of the matter is that This is my gift And when flowing in my brilliance I’m tuned in, tapped in, turned on And I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all
I would never change the thing That makes me most unique Even though at times it’s a pain I’m moving through this world Confident and clear I know why I’m here
I’ve been called to sensitive Too much of everything But the truth of the matter is that This is my gift
I’ve been called to sensitive Too much of everything But the truth of the matter is that This is my gift And when flowing in my brilliance I’m Tuned in, tapped in, turned on And I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all
I’ve been called to sensitive Too much of everything But the truth of the matter is that This is my gift And when flowing in my brilliance I’m Tuned in, tapped in, turned on And I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all
I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all, I feel it all
I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all, I feel it alI
I feel it all, I feel it all I feel it all, I feel it all
I AM ready to receive Love! 😍 I AM ready to receive Joy! 😃 I AM ready to receive Abundance! 🤑 I AM ready to receive Health! 😊I AM ready to receive Happiness! 😁
Yes and More Please! ~ Fia
Yes and More Please!
Fia
I am ready to receive All the love that’s given me Knowing I am worthy Yes and more please
I am ready to release All the fear, anxiety Trusting I am held in the light By Divinity
I am ready to receive All the love that’s given me Cause I know that I am worthy Yes and more please
I am ready to release All the fear, anxiety Trusting I am held in the light By Divinity
So done with playing small Knowing I am made of stars And that I am the love that I’m looking for Knowing that my heart is my home
In this dream reality I surrender to thee Everything is reflected like a mirror back to me
And I’m so done with playing small Knowing I am made of stars And that I am the love that I’m looking for Knowing that my heart is my home
And I’m so done with playing small Knowing I am made of stars And that I am, I am the love that I’m looking for Knowing that my heart is my home
Today is a new day! I just wanna have fun in my life! I want to laugh, I want to love, and I want to live! I want to experience life! I just wanna have fun! 😃
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!
~ Cyndi Lauper
I come home, in the mornin’ light My mother says “When you gonna live your life right?” Oh momma dear, we’re not the fortunate ones And girls, they wanna have fun Oh girls just wanna have fun… The phone rings, in the middle of the night My father yells “What you gonna do with your life?” Oh daddy dear, you know you’re still number one But girls they wanna have fun Oh girls just wanna have That’s all they really want Some fun When the workin’ day is done Oh girls, they wanna have fun Ho hoo girls just wanna have (girls) fun (they want) (Wanna have fun) (Girls) (Wanna have)Some boys take a beautiful girl And hide her away from the rest o’ the world I wanna be the one to walk in the sun Oh girls, they wanna have fun Ho hoo girls just wanna have That’s all they really want Is some fun When the workin’ day is done Oh girls, they wanna have fun Oh girls just wanna have (girls) fun (they want) (Wanna have fun) (Girls) (Wanna have) They just want, they just wanna (girls) They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun) Oh girls Girls just wanna have fun (Just want, they just wanna) They just wanna, they just wanna (girls) They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun) Girls, girls just wanna have fun When the workin’ When the workin’ day is done Oh, when the workin’ day is done Oh, girls Girls just wanna have fun They just want, they just wanna (girls) They just want, they just wanna (girls just wanna have fun) Oh, girls Girls just wanna have fun (They just wanna, they just wanna) When the workin’ When the working day is done (they just want, they just wanna) Oh, when the working day is done (oh, girls) (Girls just wanna have fun) (They just want, they just wanna)
I bravely went to my appointment this Wednesday! There were unpleasant moments, but I conquered it! Yay! I am so proud of myself! 👍
Three Little Birds – Bob Marley
However, I need a break. I can’t go through even more stress this coming Wednesday again, in such a short period of time. My body calmed down and allowed me to go to my appointment this Wednesday, so I will honor her needs to have more time before the next one.
I called just now and rescheduled it (again) for a month’s time. I think it’s the same receptionist that I am rescheduling for the second time now. She sighed when she heard that I wanted to reschedule my appointment. I did tell her last time that I feel anxious, so would like to have more time to prepare for my appointment emotionally. She was relatively cool about it.
Yay! I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now! I can have a relaxing and pleasant weekend! Yippee! 😆
Three Little Birds
~ Bob Marley
Don’t worry, about a thing ‘Cause every little thing, gonna be all right Singin’, don’t worry, about a thing ‘Cause every little thing, gonna be all right
Rise up this mornin’ Smile with the risin’ sun Three little birds Pitched by my doorstep Singin’ sweet songs Of melodies pure and true Sayin’, “This is my message to you, whoo-hoo”
Singin’, don’t worry, about a thing ‘Cause every little thing, is gonna be all right Singin’, don’t worry, don’t worry ’bout a thing ‘Cause every little thing, gonna be all right
Rise up this mornin’ Smile with the risin’ sun Three little birds Pitched by my doorstep Singin’ sweet songs Of melodies pure and true Sayin’, “This is my message to you, whoo-hoo”
Singin’, don’t worry, about a thing Worry about a thing, no Every little thing, gonna be all right Don’t worry Singin’, don’t worry, about a thing I won’t worry! ‘Cause every little thing, gonna be alright
Hmm don’t worry, about a thing ‘Cause a every little thing, gonna be all right I won’t worry Baby don’t worry, about a thing ‘Cause every little thing, is gonna be all right Say, don’t worry about a thing, no girl ‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!
