Dialectical Behavioral Therapy

Day 22: You Are Not Your Emotions:

Emotions are transient states that we experience, and they come and go.  Sometimes, it may be hard to remember that you are not your emotions.  e.g. You may say, “I am sad”.  Are you really sadness, or are you just experiencing sadness temporarily?

The next time you experience an uncomfortable emotion, try to separate who you are from the emotion you are experiencing. Instead of “I am angry”, say to yourself “Anger is coming up within me, and it will pass”.

Remind yourself: “I am not my emotion.  I am experiencing the emotion of (…), and it will pass”. By doing so, it will become easier for you to separate yourself from that emotion and allow it to pass.

Source(s):

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

by Debbie Corso

Day 21: Crisis Survival Plan:

There may be times when you are under so much emotional distress that you need to put in an extra amount of effort to keep from behaving in past, destructive ways. e.g. drinking too much when you are feeling upset. One way to prepare for this is to create a Crisis Survival Plan kit right now, when you are feeling well enough to do so.

Put on top of the page ‘My Crisis Survival Plan’ and then write down the following:

1.  A friend or loved one that I can call for support (Name and phone number).
2.  I have been working hard to prevent myself from sabotaging, so no matter how bad this feels right now, I am going to focus on my short term and long term goals and not sabotage.  List your short and long term goals.
3.  When I feel distressed, I will engage in the following activities to help calm or distract me (List the activities).  No matter how bad it feels right now, and how resistant or stubborn I may feel about taking care of myself in this way, in this moment, I am going to do one of these activities (Do the activity).

If you feel overwhelmed, then look at your “Crisis Survival Plan” and pick the points you would like to use to help you through the crisis.  When you are feeling better afterwards, notice what triggered the overwhelming emotions and what skills you used to help you overcome the crisis.

Source(s):

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

by Debbie Corso

Day 20: Coping Ahead:

Coping Ahead is a DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) skill that falls under the Emotion Regulation module.  It can be used to prepare for everything from a work meeting to a legal session to a doctor’s visit.

With this skill, you use your imagination to vividly think about the situation you are anticipating.  Do a guided muscle tension and relaxation meditation so that you can feel relaxed both physically and mentally, then start thinking about the experience in advance.  Imagine all your senses coming alive and truly experience the upcoming situation in the way you would like for it to be.

When you cope ahead with potentially difficult situations, you provide your mind and nervous system with a way to desensitize the upcoming event.  You also prepare yourself for what to expect and lessen your anxiety regarding the situation.

Source(s):

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

by Debbie Corso

Day 19: Radical Acceptance:

Radical Acceptance is accepting those issues in our lives that we just don’t feel fully ready to accept.  Maybe someone is ill.  Maybe a relationship isn’t working out as we had hoped and planned.  It’s as if we think that somehow, magically, by not acknowledging the situation, then it either doesn’t exist or will go away.

By denying the truth and not accepting the reality for what it truly is, we stay stuck in the situation and are unable to find solutions or to move on.

Radical Acceptance involves the acknowledgement of the following three things:

1. Reality is what it is
2. Everything has a cause
3. Life can be worth living even when there’s pain

(Dr. Marsha Linehan, From Chaos to Freedom video series)

Identify at least one issue in your life that you are not facing head on.  Realize how denying the reality of what is at hand prevents you from experiencing your life in the here and now?  Take slow steady steps on either resolving the issue, or accepting the facts.  This way, you can release the underlying emotions and move on.

Source(s):

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

by Debbie Corso

Day 18: Doing Only What is Needed:

If you are going through an emotional crisis and you feel overwhelmed, then practice doing only what is needed for the time being.  What this means is to only focus on those time sensitive things that will have consequences and spend the rest of your time and effort on taking care of yourself.

Depending on how intense the crisis is, decide how much you can handle on a given day, and then do just that.  Don’t be afraid to show others your vulnerability, that you are not composed a hundred percent of the time.

By allowing yourself time to slow down and relax, you prevent yourself from being pushed over the edge when you are already feeling overwhelmed.  This way, you can have some downtime to recover and recharge.

Source(s):

Stop Sabotaging: A 31 Day DBT Challenge to Change Your Life

by Debbie Corso