My ex owns an online business and has been delivering a part to me, and asking me to help him mail it whenever someone orders it from his online store. For some reason, the vendor that sell the parts won’t deliver it to California, so my ex asked if I could help him out and I said “Yes”. So whenever someone orders the part from his online store, he emails me the shipping label. I then print out the shipping label, pack the part, and drop it off at the post office nearby.
My printer has been having connection problems since a few months ago and after a few times of working and then not working again, I just kind of gave up and didn’t want to deal with it anymore (at least for now…). So, whenever I need something to be scanned or printed out, I would ask my husband to please help me do that from his workplace.
A few weeks ago, I asked my husband to help me print out my ex’s shipping label, so that I can drop it off at the post office the next day. I honestly felt (from the way he spoke) that he intentionally ‘forgot’ to do it. Since it was already a few days after the customer had placed the order, I asked my husband if he could just help me drop it off the next morning after printing out the shipping label?
I felt like he had a bone to pick with me and decided to conveniently use this as an excuse. He first asked me “Is ________ paying you to do this?”. I told him “No”. I was just starting to explain to him that the reason my ex is asking for my help is because the vendor won’t ship the part to California, but before I could even get two words in, my husband started to take off with me. The argument turned bad and I walked downstairs in order to stop engaging with him. After my husband went to sleep, I called my ex and told him to just mail me the shipping labels from now on so that I won’t have to “beg” my husband to print them out, and then have him use it as an excuse to get into an argument with me over something else.
My ex asked if my husband had a problem with me helping him out, and I said “No”. I’m not sure if my husband does have a slight problem with it, but I didn’t want my ex to feel bad about it. So my ex said “Sure”, and has started to mail me the shipping labels whenever someone places an order.
I received two shipping labels from him this afternoon, and this was the first time he enclosed the receipt for the customers as well. I found out that he only charges them around $15 for the part. This means that even if he managed to buy it from the vendor at 50% off, he probably only ends up profiting at $5/order at the most, since he still has to mail the shipping labels to me as well.
I’ve been feeling kind of down after finding out about this. I didn’t realize that his profit margin was so low. I have always felt like my ex is so money-hungry; always wanting to profit from every single cent, and save money whenever he can (including asking me to help him out with various things for free all these years). He seems to be pretty financially sound, but I don’t know to what extent?
I just feel this compassion and sympathy for him for having to work so hard in order to earn such a small profit. It’s not like I don’t think that my husband works hard. My husband works very hard. I actually think that my husband works a lot harder than my ex. But I feel that my husband’s “return on investment” for his hard work seems to be a lot more compared to my ex. I can’t even tell my husband about this, because I don’t think he’d be too pleased to hear about me feeling sorry for my ex… My husband and my ex know each other, but it’s not exactly like they’re the best of friends either.
I also don’t tell my parents much about my ex because they feel like he delayed the best years of my life to get married and to start a family. Even my mom, who has almost saint-like qualities, still has some resentment towards my ex (and I know that she only feels this way because she loves me very much, and is standing up for me), and I often end up having to tell my mom that it’s time to let this go…
Mom doesn’t like it too much when she hears that my ex and I still talk on the phone even though I’ve been telling her that we’re just friends, and have just been friends for such a long time now. Mom says that my ex regrets letting me go…
After we were no longer a couple, my ex said to me one day, “Don’t ever treat your man too well. Don’t do everything for him. Otherwise, he will take you for granted”. I think this is my ex’s way of thanking me for all that I have done for him, and to apologize to me for taking me for granted… I still didn’t learn my lesson though, and once again, I feel that I’m being taken for granted (and not taken care of) in my marriage….