August 8th is Father’s Day in Taiwan. My brother still bought a cake to celebrate it with Mom. I always buy the Father’s Day card months ahead since it’s on the third Sunday in June in the US, and they stop selling the cards after that. Last year, I bought two beautiful Father’s Day cards to use for last year and this year.
I didn’t tell anyone besides my Mom that I’m getting divorced. Dad has memory loss so there’s no point in traumatizing him by telling him, just for him to forget about it again. I’m scared it’ll trigger my sister too much and cause her to become ill again, so I figured it’s best to just keep it to myself.
Last year, I asked my ex to still please write my Father’s Day card, Mother’s Day card, and my sister’s birthday card in advance, just as before. I asked him to please still say “Dear Dad”, and to draw a smiley face, as before. He was kind enough to oblige. This is my last Father’s Day card to my Dad. I’m so glad I kept a copy of it.
This year, I felt torn in asking him to write the cards again, as it just did not feel right anymore. I told Mom that I won’t send any more cards to them, and will just call them on the day since sooner or later, my ex will not be available (and willing) to continue writing out these cards. I gave the unused Father’s Day card I bought last year to a friend so that he can send it to his own father instead.
Dearest Daddy, I hope you’re really happy and healthy up there. I guess you probably know by now that I’m getting divorced, huh? Don’t worry, Dad, I am very resilient. I got that from you and Mom. I can take care of myself. I will be okay.
Mom misses you a lot. She forces herself to still go for a walk every day. She imagines that you’re still with her. She touches the flowers gently just as you always do. She talks to you a lot every single day. She imagines that you’re always by her side, playing checkers, reciting poems, etc. It must be really tough on her since you’ve been together for 55 years now. Bro comes to visit her twice a week and I call her every day when he doesn’t come over. Please protect her and make sure that she is just going through the normal stages of grief, and will not sink into clinical depression.
Pooky still doesn’t know that you’re gone. We don’t plan on telling her any time in the near future. If she ever asks for you, Mom will just tell her that you’re still sleeping. We’re afraid she won’t be able to handle this and will become ill again. We know that’s what you would want us to do as well, right?
Besides, we know you’ll never leave us. You are always by our side.
Happy Father’s Day! I love you, Daddy. I miss you so much. You’re always in my heart! β€οΈ