Month: October 2022

Colors of the Wind in the Disney movie “Pochahontas” talks about loving our precious planet and accepting people for who they are. There’s someone who has been harassing me since the beginning of this year and I’ve finally had it!

I’ve had many chiropractor classmates at my acupuncture school and they would provide me with chiropractic adjustments back then. I had a very bad neck adjustment performed by someone who was not trained to do so and two major car accidents previously, so I’ve always had a lot of neck tension and neck pain. DS was one of the chiropractors who took some acupuncture classes with me at my acupuncture school back then.

I had a study buddy SM and we got along well and often did fun things together outside of school as well. One year, we decided to attend a popular Halloween costume party together (along with his fiancee, and my boyfriend at the time) and he took me to JoAnn to buy my “Snow White” costume materials and even helped me sew the entire costume himself.

I guess DS already liked me from that time and when we were in class together, he started telling me bad things that SM has said about me. SM and I went through a period where we started becoming more and more distant from each other. However, I valued our friendship a lot and decided to confront him about the bad things he had said to DS about me. That was when SM told me that DS had also been telling him that I’d been saying bad things about SM. I couldn’t believe that DS would be such a pathological liar and psychopath, to actually make up this sick plan of trying to break up the friendship between SM and myself! After that incident, SM and I decided that if DS ever tells us again that we’ve been saying bad things about each other, to then ask each other if that’s true or if DS made that up again.

That was the horrible impression of the kind of person DS left in my mind during the short period of time that we had classes together.

After obtaining my California Acupuncture license, I moved to Orange County because of my work. One day, out of the blue, DS contacted me and asked to meet up. Being the forgiving person that I am, I decided to let go of the past and did not even confront DS about the shady things he did to SM and me while we were attending acupuncture school together. DS and I met up a few times and then once again, he disappeared from my life. Since I never had any romantic inclinations towards him or even liked him that much as a friend (especially because he likes to play mind games and cause drama in people’s lives), I didn’t think much of it and just carried on with my life as usual. That was the last time I heard from him, which was over 15 years ago.

DS contacted me at the beginning of January 2022, using my contact form on my professional website https://chinese-medicine-doc.com saying that he incidentally came across my website and asked how I was doing. I found out later on that it was definitely not by chance that he came across my professional website. In fact, he had been spying on me and reading all of my journal entries on this personal website, “Lotus Soul” for a very long time already.

What defines a psychopath? Someone who thinks he’s invincible and can get away with lies, however stupid they may be. They are also opportunists who will prey on someone that they think is weaker than them. DS emailed me back and forth with a whole bunch of lies. He told me I said things back then, which I knew for certain were lies. He preyed upon my having PTSD with dissociation and the fact that we spoke over 15 years ago (so may not remember everything precisely) to make up anything he felt like saying. Well, you’ve underestimated me, DS, you dumb ass idiot!

He told me things that made me suspect that he actually knows about this personal website of mine, which I do not advertise on my social media since I am journaling about private things in my life, and do not want my friends to know about them. When I emailed DS with my suspicion, he flat-out denied knowing about this website, until I provided him with proof, and then he started apologizing for lying about it. One of the worst lies he told me was that I told him over 15 years ago that I am going to move back to Taiwan and take care of my sister. That was the ultimate give away that he knows about “Lotus Soul” and is making up stuff about what I said to him over 15 years ago. My sister was in a very stable condition 15 years ago. In fact, her mental condition only started to deteriorate about 3 years ago when my father started having dementia. It was only in the recent years that I started considering moving back to Taiwan to take care of my sister. Otherwise, I love living in the US and had never thought about leaving the US or moving back to Taiwan. The only reason I will be moving back to Taiwan now is to take care of my ill sister, who is now institutionalized for life.

After confronting DS about his lies, I told him with kindness that I am Not interested in him romantically, but that we can be Just friends. He turned even more psycho on me after that, and in one of his emails, he made it seem as if we were dating back then over 15 years ago, and that one day, I just left him and married my soon-to-be ex-husband. That was when I realized that he really needs psychiatric help as he seems to be suffering from delusions as well if he truly believes what he’s saying.

DS was actually born in Bloomington MN, and then moved to CA with his parents later on in life. He told me in his email correspondences that he used to be a member of some sick S&M club in California, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s also a member of some sick online forums and connecting with people back in MN as well.

I journaled about attending the Divorce Care group on “Lotus Soul” and DS knows which city I’m in, so he can easily do a search to find out what time the group meeting is. One time, a woman started telling us that she suffers from PTSD with dissociation. Firstly, this is a Divorce Care group, not a PTSD group. No one will go around and tell people that they have PTSD, and to be so specific in saying that she has dissociation, really made me wonder if this was planned. She also never came back again after that one session. I also shared during that session about becoming more interested in understanding Christianity but was totally taken aback when I read bible scriptures stating that divorce is a sin. I cried so much during that Divorce Care session.

It was strange enough to have that woman show up for that one and only time telling everyone that she has PTSD with dissociation, but what made me realize that this was most likely some sick friend that DS sent over to mess with my brain (knowing that I’m already suffering from PTSD with dissociation) was that the very next morning (03/23/22), DS emailed me and specifically spoke about my dissociation, and he also said this below, out of the blue, which was never discussed in any of our email correspondences:

MEMORY LANE
When I was going to the University of Minnesota, 1979 – 1981, we always looked forward to the “Devil Destroyers” visiting our campus. They were a group of evangelist Christians that tried to get people to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. They came on the main campus, usually on a Sunday, and we would form a circle around them. The main speaker sat on a round board that turned. He would point his finger to the crowd, as the board slowly spun, and yell out, “SINNERS! SINNERS! SINNERS! YOU ARE ALL SINNERS!” And then he would give us a lecture. I only remember one of the lectures. He yelled out to the crowd and asked, “Do you know what the number one hit of all time is? The hit from the devil that has penetrated all of your sinner minds?” Some people responded, “CALL ME, by Blondie” or “Another Brick In The Wall, by Pink Floyd.” He yelled out, “NO! It’s ‘All You Need Is Love, by The Beatles.” He told us the song isn’t true. All you need is to accept Jesus into your life. That’s all I remember. Back in those days, school spirit was huge. I remember when the Cheerleaders set up a bonfire at night and gave cheers to the football team.

DS also asked me in that same email about my chiropractor in Maple Grove. In fact, he has asked me a few times about him because he read from my previous journal entries how my chiropractor in Maple Grove was taking advantage of my PTSD with dissociation in trying to make me develop romantic feelings towards him. So, I guess DS saw my chiropractor as a competitor and will probably want his sick friends in MN to do something to him as well. I’ve never disclosed anything about my chiropractor in Maple Grove to DS since I know how sick DS is, and I’ve decided to forgive my chiropractor for all the harm he has caused me in the past.

Whenever I confront DS about his lies, he’ll either send me emails apologizing profusely (but then start up with some other mind games later on), not reply back, or send me an email from another email address talking about an entirely new topic and pretending as if my previous email never existed. I even wonder if DS has multiple personalities as well?

Even after I’ve told DS respectfully multiple times to stop emailing me, he’ll think of another lie/excuse to email me again. The last one was about 2 months ago when he said that he’s been donating to a charity organization (which I found out was discontinued for over 15 years now) and would like to give a portion of that money to me instead. Knowing that I always do my due diligence and will reply back to tell him that I know he’s lying, he then used that as an excuse to start communicating with me again. He even sent me emails of gifting me one of his houses and providing me with $2000/month just to be with him. He also sent me an email of explicit disgusting details of the sexual acts he will perform on me if we were together. I told him (08/24/22) that he’d have to at least give me $1M upfront, knowing that that will very unlikely happen, and then he stopped corresponding for a while.

He started emailing me again later on with some random topics and I decided to just email him back every 2 to 3 weeks, seeing that we were classmates from over 15 years ago and he’s all alone and suffering from health ailments. However, that did not go well with him, so he first resend the same email and then texted me a few days later saying he was worried that I did not receive his email. I texted back to say that I did and that I plan on replying back to his emails every 2-3 weeks, so then he decided to just start texting me to hear back from me right away.

I keep on believing that people can change for the better and that we all deserve a second chance (and in his case, the tenth chance), so I texted him back. He was texting me again last Friday and our conversation went okay. However, a friend of mine and I had dinner together on Friday (10/21/22) and I posted the photos on this website Friday night. I guess DS saw it and was livid that I was having dinner with someone so he sent me an email on Saturday titled “Humor Video”. He didn’t say anything in the email except that, “I don’t know how to do this with my cell phone.”, It was the most racist, vile, disgusting video I have ever seen in my life. It was making fun of this Asian woman with people constantly telling her that she is a fucking piece of shit. I just knew then that this was what DS wanted to tell me, that I am a fucking piece of shit for having dinner with someone else the night before. That was also when I realized that he is obsessed to the point of being pathological and that he is a psychopath who will never change.

I replied back saying that it was disturbing that he was sending me this racist video, that’s once again making fun of Asians. Then, later on, he texts me asking if I received his email of his “Humor Video” since it’s showing on his end that it wasn’t sent. This guy is not capable of speaking the truth, he can only lie through his ass. I wonder if that’s how he’s been getting by his entire life? I even replied back to his email and here he is, texting me with this lie, hoping that I will once again communicate with him, but now through texts instead. He then started bombarding me with a whole bunch of texts apologizing and pretending that he didn’t know it was unacceptable to send me this horrible racist video. I just texted him back three sentences, telling him to stop trying my patience, and then decided to stop replying to his texts.

The next morning, he emailed me another email titled “Do These Videos Put A Smile On Your Face?”. I forwarded that email with the two attached videos to my friend and asked him to check and see if those are sick racist videos again since I don’t want to be traumatized by DS emotionally and psychologically again. My friend said they are just some dog videos and warned me that these attachments are how hackers gain access to your accounts. I was wondering first off, where did he get these videos from? Most people just watch videos on YouTube, and if they want to share them, they just share the link. I decided to not ever open any attachments that DS sends me again since it is very likely that he will try to hack my accounts and devices, especially now that I am not responding back to him.

This guy has some money, and plenty of spare time to screw with people’s lives. I told someone previously that if I disappear one day, to notify the police that DS has most likely abducted me back to San Bernardino County, CA, which is where he currently lives.

These are the kinds of people I’ve experienced my entire life. Losers, whom when I kindly tell them that I am not interested in them romantically, will then turn nasty and vindictive towards me. I’m done with putting up with this kind of bullshit! DS is the worst psycho I’ve ever met in my life, but there are others as well, just not to such a sick degree. Another acupuncture classmate of mine, CC, which I also rejected back then has since then been throwing shade at me on social media (and at school back then) whenever he sees an opportunity to do so. These morons think that just because I look so cute and innocent, and am so sweet and kind, that they can treat me however badly they want to since I don’t want to be with them romantically. Well, you are wrong! I have so much resiliency and inner strength that Nothing and No One will ever break me down! You may be able to kick me to the ground once or twice, but I will always get up and I become stronger after each fall! I have not yet kicked your ass, only because I am a kind person, but don’t try my patience!

So, here we are, DS. I have dedicated this long journal entry to exposing the kind of sick psychopath you truly are since you love causing drama in my life and continue to spy on me and read my journal entries, even though I explicitly emailed you in writing to stop looking at anything to do with me on 03/25/22. And I want to stress this, WE HAVE NEVER EVEN HELD HANDS! I HAVE ZERO ROMANTIC INTEREST IN YOU WHATSOEVER! I have provided a friend with your details if anything should ever happen to me, God Forbid!

LEAVE ME ALONE DS, OR I WILL FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST YOU, YOU SICK RACIST BASTARD!!! You Need to Get Psychiatric Help!

Colors of the Wind

~ Lea Salonga

You think I’m an ignorant savage
And you’ve been so many places
I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see
If the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don’t know?
You don’t know …

You think you own whatever land you land on
The Earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they’re worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down, then you’ll never know
And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon

For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still
All you’ll own is Earth until
You can paint with all the colors of the wind