🌦️ Have You Ever Seen The Rain? 🌹

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For some reason, this song came into my mind as soon as I woke up early this morning.

There have been various interpretations to the meaning behind the lyrics of this song. Some say it’s about the Vietnam war, and that the word “rain” is actually referring to bombs falling from the sky. Some say it’s talking about the idealists of the 60’s that were being abandoned by society. The hippie-spirit born at the end of the decade was being extinguished, and the people behind it were being integrated back into mainstream society.

🌦️ Have You Ever Seen the Rain? ~ Creedence Clearwater Revival

John Fogerty, the writer of the lyrics, explained that this song was actually written about the band’s internal conflict following their massive success, and the rift that was forming between himself and the rest of the band. It describes the feeling of being down and out even when life’s circumstances should have you feeling happy and upbeat.

I tend to resonate more with the second and third interpretations of this song.

I often feel being misunderstood. There seems to be an incongruency between how I feel and how I express it outwardly. I personally think that astrology has something to do with it as well. Being an Aries sun, I tend to be open, honest and direct when communicating my thoughts. However, since my moon sign is in Scorpio, which is mysterious, secretive and hidden, there are thoughts and feelings that I will only keep to myself and not express to anyone else. These are like two polar opposites, and oftentimes, I’m uncertain myself as to how I’m really feeling about something or someone.

And then, when it comes to my soon-to-be-over marriage; things seemed to have been okay on the surface, especially since I’ve learned over the years to just keep my feelings & thoughts to myself, and to accept that my ex-husband does not want to display affection or talk about our feelings. However, when he decided to end the marriage, he exited it in the most dramatic way possible.

Events started to unfold one after the other within the period of a few days. On 12/04/21, he knocked on my bedroom door at around 4am to tell me that his car got rear ended and ended up in the ditch in an undriveable condition. Then, I found out that he had started drinking again since a year ago, and then, he asked for a divorce.

A few days later, I found out that he had been secretly withdrawing large amounts of money from our bank accounts. He also went back on his word regarding our divorce settlement, so I told him that I will not sign the divorce papers unless he honors his promise. At the beginning of this year, I came home one night and saw his cold email with all the divorce forms filled out, and informing me that if I do not file the divorce jointly with him, then he will take me to court. We already agreed from the beginning that we do not want lawyers or the court involved in our divorce.

I started getting stomach pains after the lipoma surgical removal on my back towards the end of December last year. The lipoma was a lot deeper than what the surgeon had thought and he had to re-anesthetize me during the surgery, and it took a lot longer than how long he had anticipated it would take.

A few days after my ex-husband threatened to take me to court, I experienced excruciating stomach pain, passed out, had a concussion and vomited all over. I have often had stomach pains in the past because I have a lot of food allergies. However, I have never experienced such bad stomach pain before. I am grateful that it happened in front of him, because he quickly turned my head to the side when I started vomiting. Otherwise, I would have choked on my own vomit and died.

He took me to the ER and thankfully, they did not see a brain bleed on my Head CT scan. He also took me to see my neurologist and she said that me passing out could have been caused by the extreme stomach pain that I was experiencing, since neurological and psychological factors may also cause someone to lose consciousness. That was when he told my neurologist that he had just asked for a divorce and since he was the one initiating it, he was already mentally prepared, but I probably was still in shock (and I was, especially with the way he did it). My neurologist agreed that it could have played a factor as well.

In fact, ever since my lipoma surgery, I have been experiencing stomach pains frequently. It was so bad another time that I was worried I might pass out again, and quickly lied down for a few hours. It’s been better since then, but I still experience it on a pretty constant basis.

After my concussion, my ex-husband finally decided to stop pushing me so hard. I told him that I need time to recover from all of this and thankfully, he agreed to it. He also agreed to keep his word regarding our divorce settlement. That was also when he decided to get more money and applied for a huge loan, and then gave the entire amount to this other woman. It was already too late when I finally found out about it.

Ever since then, I’ve been learning to adjust my emotions; to try and forgive him, mainly for the sake of my own health and wellbeing, and to focus on getting my health back on track again.

I’m much better now, in terms of finding my balance again (thanks to physical therapy and occupational therapy) after this second concussion. I had one back in 2019 after I slipped and fell on ice, and hit the back of my head in a parking lot. I still experience stomach pains but not as frequently as before. I can finally start focusing for about 45 minutes at a time, which is why I’m slowly starting to build my online business now. It’s going so slowly though, since there’s so much to learn and so many factors to take into account.

Bad things happen to all of us, and then we finally get better and pick ourselves back up again. Then, another bad thing happens, and we eventually recover. So, the cycle just repeats itself over and over again.

Such is life…

Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

~ John Fogerty

Someone told me long ago
There’s a calm before the storm
I know, it’s been coming for some time
When it’s over, so they say
It’ll rain a sunny day
I know, shining down like water

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
Coming down on a sunny day

Yesterday, and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hard
I know, been that way for all my time
‘Til forever, on it goes
Through the circle, fast and slow
I know, it can’t stop, I wonder

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
Coming down on a sunny day

Yeah!

I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
I wanna know, have you ever seen the rain?
Coming down on a sunny day

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