Day: August 25, 2021

The red bean symbolizes love and faithfulness. In some parts of Asia, such as in Taiwan, men will often present red beans to their lover to show their commitment for a relationship. The red bean also symbolizes happiness. When a bride wears jewelry made from red beans on her wrist or neck, it means that she will lead a happy life. It is also a cultural belief and practice that if married couples put six red beans underneath each of their pillows, then their love will remain till eternity…

The red bean is also a symbol of ‘remembrance’ or ‘memorable’, because the wife keeps on remembering the husband and waits for him to return everyday…

Once again, I’m unable to fall asleep. I’ve not been able to stop thinking about my sister since mom told me last weekend that my sister got transferred back to the critical care unit. I feel really sad for my sister, and I feel that I need to go back to Taiwan in the near future to be there for her.

However, at the same time, I also feel sad for myself. Ever since I told Mom last year that I will go back to Taiwan to take care of my sister, I’ve been feeling this huge weight on my shoulders.

I left Taiwan when I was 3 years old. Dad got transferred back to Taiwan (from the US) when I was 9 years old, and then he got transferred to South Africa when I was 14 years old.  I also stayed in Taiwan for a year in 2009, so I’ve spent a total of 9 years of my life in Taiwan.

I can’t stand the weather in Taiwan, especially in summer. It is too hot and too humid. Taiwan is also very congested. If you like living in the city, then you’ll like living in Taiwan. However, I prefer living in the countryside, and having lots of space between myself and my neighbors. I also prefer to live in a quiet environment.

Even though I feel sad for my sister, and I love her very much but at the same time, I also feel resentful towards her for making me have to uproot my life completely to live somewhere that I do not want to be.  And then I feel guilty and shameful for feeling resentful towards her because she can’t help it, it’s not her fault. All of these mixed emotions torment me so much. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. I don’t feel that I am allowed to honor how I feel, i.e. feeling resentful towards her.

I can still hold myself together during the day.  But at night, I can’t stop thinking about these things.

Is it You who is my Twin Flame? Why do I feel such a magnetic pull towards you, even though you can be cruel at times???

I will miss you…

Source(s): http://iamjewelgirl.blogspot.com/2012/04/red-bean.html

紅豆 (Red Bean)

~ 王菲 (Faye Wong)

還沒好好的感受　雪花綻放的氣候

hai mei hao hao de gan shou 　xue hua zhan fang de qi hou

I haven’t properly felt the atmosphere in which snowflakes blosssom

我們一起顫抖　會更明白　甚麼是溫柔

wo men yi qi chan dou 　hui geng ming bai 　shen me shi wen rou

When we shiver together, we will further understand what tenderness is

還沒跟你牽著手　走過荒蕪的沙丘

hai mei gen ni qian zhe shou 　zou guo huang wu de sha qiu

I haven’t held hands with you and walked past untended sand dunes

可能從此以後　學會珍惜　天長和地久

ke neng cong ci yi hou 　xue hui zhen xi 　tian zhang he di jiu

Maybe from now on until later, we will learn to appreciate eternity

有時候　有時候 (Chorus starts)

you shi hou 　you shi hou

Sometimes, there are times,

我會相信一切有盡頭

wo hui xiang xin yi qie you jin tou

when I believe that everything has an end

相聚離開　都有時候

xiang ju li kai 　dou you shi hou

There are times for gatherings and partings;

沒有甚麼會永垂不朽

mei you shen me hui yong chui bu xiu

Nothing lasts forever

可是我　有時候

ke shi wo 　you shi hou

But sometimes I …

寧願選擇留戀不放手

ning yuan xuan ze liu lian bu fang shou

I’d rather be nostalgic than let go.

等到風景都看透

deng dao feng jing dou kan tou

Until I have seen through all the scenery;

也許你會陪我　看細水長流 (Chorus ends)

ye xu ni hui pei wo 　kan xi shui zhang liu

Perhaps you will accompany me to watch the flowing stream…

還沒為你把紅豆　熬成纏綿的傷口

hai mei wei ni ba hong dou 　ao cheng chan mian de shang kou

I haven’t simmered the red bean for you, into wounds that linger

然後一起分享　會更明白　相思的哀愁

ran hou yi qi fen xiang 　hui geng ming bai 　xiang si de ai chou

Then when we share it with each other, we will further understand the sorrow of missing each other!

還沒好好的感受　醒著親吻的溫柔

hai mei hao hao de gan shou 　xing zhe qin wen de wen rou

I haven’t properly felt the tenderness of kissing while awake

可能在我左右　你才追求　孤獨的自由

ke neng zai wo zuo you 　ni cai zhui qiu 　gu du de zi you

Maybe it’s with me that you’re pursuing lonely freedom.