PTSD

Why does he almost always knows exactly how to drive me up the wall, and to lose my marbles?

If he’s not acting like a pressure cooker about to explode with his underlying deep monstrous rage, then he’s being passive-aggressive with that fake cool, collected, calm, careless attitude towards what I’m concerned with.

There was a phase I had to go through where every day when he comes home, he starts yelling and screaming, complaining about his work, his boss, and his subordinates. The only crime I committed each time was asking the phrase ‘Hi honey, how was your day?’.

And he knew he could get away with that each time because he’s yelling to me, NOT at me. Therefore, I can’t exactly yell back at him. Being conditioned by my culture, and especially by my dad as to how a ‘good’ wife is supposed to act; I need to take all that in, and try to comfort him, and that’s when he then feels entitled to yell at me for saying the ‘wrong’ words to try and comfort him. I went through a phase where not long after he starts screaming and yelling, I start getting stomach spasms and then stomachache for the rest of the night.

Narcissists (getting free from past or present pain) – Tapping with Brad Yates

I eventually told mom about it, and mom suggested I tell him that I’m getting stomach spasms and stomachaches each time he starts yelling and screaming about his day. I’m not sure if I did end up telling him that, but thank goodness, that phase eventually stopped!

Then there’s the ‘breaking things’ phase, and most of the time, the ’emotionally-unavailable’ phase, which seems to be the main theme throughout our relationship.

When I get mad, he gives me this ‘I don’t give a S*IT’, or ‘You are just too emotional’, or ‘You are acting crazy’ attitude. It is so disrespectful and so frustrating!