🌺 Journal

I suddenly miss SoCal so much now, it physically hurts. My Microsoft OneDrive emails me of photos that were taken on this day throughout the years. There’s one of me with my ex from a long time ago taken at the Hearst Castle in San Luis Obispo, California. There’s another one of me, also taken years ago (on this day) by my husband.

This just brings back waves of memories of my past. The past that I just want to let go, so that I can move on with my life.

I got into a verbal altercation with my neighbor next door yesterday over his noise issues and his visitors’ cars parking onto our side of the driveway. It ended with him saying that he will play loud music just for us every morning, and with me telling him that I will call his agent and call the cops.

After saying that, I stormed back into my townhouse and slammed the door. I called his agent and left a voicemail asking her to intervene before this situation escalates further. I also texted my agent and she said that she will call our association on Monday to see what actions can be taken against my neighbor.

I ended up with a huge headache and had to put acupuncture needles on my head, and practice deep breathing.

I texted my agent just now to tell her that we’ll wait for a while longer to see if the situation improves, before escalating it with the association. We would like to give our neighbor the benefit of the doubt that he just said those mean words in the heat of the moment and doesn’t really want to make the situation worse.

I’ll also start looking for another place for rent. It’s difficult though, with it being the seller’s market. Most homeowners are choosing to sell their homes, instead of renting it out. The Covid situation last year also didn’t help, with homeowners being forced to let non-paying tenants continue to stay rent-free.

I’ll also start packing, purging and donating things that we don’t need to lighten up our load.

I just miss the ocean so much. I wish I could drive down to the ocean right now. We’ve lived on beachfront property in Ventura County previously and I would just go for a walk every afternoon and feel rejuvenated afterwards. Even after we moved to the hilltop, it was still just a 15 minute drive to the ocean. Now, I’m not even remotely close to any ocean, never mind the Pacific ocean, that I love so much …..

In the Neighborhood

~ Vonda Shepard

Here’s a photo I’ve been looking for
It’s a picture of thee boy next door
And I loved him more than words could say
Never knew it ’til he moved away

Faded pictures in my scrapbook
Just thought I’d take one more look
And recall when we were all
In the neighborhood

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here’s a photo of the neighborhood
Here’s the corner where we stood
Here’s a snapshot of dad’s old car

Never got us very far
Faded pictures in my scrapbook
Just thought I’d take one more look
And recall when we were all

In the neighborhood
And all those friends
Where did they go, I don’t know
All those friends we used to know
In the neighborhood

I just found out from my husband now that his highest paying client has cut his work drastically, and thus lowering his monthly income by three quarters.

We were still struggling financially in 2020, after the medical device company that my husband has worked for since 2006 went under towards the end of 2019. My husband was exhausted from his third-shift supervisor job and it wasn’t bringing home much income either.

Last year around the same time as now, my husband said to me one day, “Let’s go, let’s go now”. I asked him “Go where”? He said “Anywhere, you choose”. I thought he was kidding, especially with the pandemic still being very bad around the same time this year. Then one night, about 2 weeks later, after he arrived at the start of his third-shift job, he texted me to let me know that he has arrived safely, and he also said that he’s done with working in Minnesota. He’s going to give one month’s notice to terminate his third-shift supervisor’s job and he wants me to start planning as to where we will live in California and to start packing accordingly. It’s not like there’s a job waiting for him in California but he’s just done with working in Minnesota.

I had actually just looked at a single family home for rent and was seriously considering taking it, as our current townhouse is way overpriced, main reason being that we are on a short-term lease.

I started sorting our stuff into three categories: to sell, to donate, and to throw away. My snow tires were about 4 years old and we sold them for $100. My husband just got brand new snow tires for winter, and we sold them for $200. We donated so many things. We had this fancy fiber-glass snow shovel that was hardly ever used, among many other expensive, hardly used things, that we just all donated away. We donated all of our winter clothes as we’ll never need them again in California.

I started planning our route to ship one car back to California and drive mine back ourselves. Even with the pandemic, traveling in summer can get very expensive especially with regards to lodging. I finally convinced my husband to let us leave after the Labor Day long weekend as that’s when all the kids are back to school and the hotel rates are no longer so expensive. My husband grudgingly agreed to it as he just can not stand working for that third-shift job anymore. It was taking a great toll on his health, so I can totally understand where he’s coming from. I told my supervisor for my work-from-home job and she said that it’s fine, I’ll just be working the same shift from a different time zone (from Central Time to Pacific Time after we move back to California). The money I make from my work-from-home job is minimal, especially compared to what my husband used to make as a medical device engineer, so I have no say to our move. It’s not like I can tell him that I will now put bread on our table while he slowly tries to find another suitable job in Minnesota.

About 3 weeks before we were going to leave Minnesota, it was as if by miracle, this client contacted my husband and basically told him that they’ll be working with investors that are constantly looking to start a new company, so my husband will always have work to do, and thus a consistent income.

That’s great news, except that we got rid of almost everything now…. We had to re-purchase all of our winter clothes. I had to buy new snow tires. My husband said that he doesn’t need snow tires so we didn’t buy new snow tires for him this time round. We’re still struggling to find stuff from our storage unit; not remembering whether it’s lying around somewhere in our storage unit, or if we’ve donated it, sold it, or trashed it away?

Things were finally beginning to become more stable towards Feb/March of 2021 so I decided to start looking for a single family house for rent again. But then my husband told me that we may be leaving again. This entire ordeal has put me into a constant state of fight or flight and I’m always on guard, not knowing when we’ll be leaving again. I got so fed up with him and asked him to please just stay put, especially because he’s wanting to leave not because his client doesn’t have any work for him, but because my husband is unhappy with the client now.

Well, here we are again, a few months later, and I just by chance found out (since my husband and I have hardly been speaking with each other this entire year) that his client dropped his workload by three quarters. And since this client promised my husband endless streams of investors, my husband has basically put all his eggs into this one basket. Good thing another client asked him to start some work just over a month ago, but that client is still trying to find investors to invest in his new start-up company, so we don’t even know if that client has the money to pay my husband for the work that my husband has done for him for the past two months?

I asked my husband just now to please let me know way in advance if we’ll have to leave Minnesota again, especially since I was just starting to look for another single family house for rent again! My husband told me to just start planning as if we’ll be leaving as with his current situation, there’s no guarantee as to how long it will last.

I don’t even know what to do anymore. And there I was, just a few days ago, complaining about that person who had been playing with my feelings for over a year now. Well, I guess if my husband and I end up leaving Minnesota, then that emotional situation will just end naturally. I won’t even have to try my best to get over this player, the circumstances will just do it for me.

I guess it’s time to just let bygones be bygones?

How do you let go of someone that you were never in a relationship with? He’s probably the worst partner you’ve ever had if you two had been in a relationship. However, because of his intentional secrecy, because he has never disclosed any of his personal life to you, you end up thinking of this possible fairy-tale relationship with him through rose-colored lenses. Because of the way he acts physically towards you when see him, you think that he is also this strong and powerful person in bed, in real life.

For all you know, he could be impotent, or he could have premature ejaculation and be poorly endowed. You know nothing about him, and that’s why you give him the benefit of the doubt and think that he’s the greatest lover in the world. Meanwhile, he’s not tall, he’s immature, financially unstable and loves playing mind games. He’s like this immature child that you had been putting up with for almost a year now, and for what? Just for him to play even more stupid mind games with you?

Forget it! You know your self-worth. You deserve someone much better! He does not deserve you! All he ever does is try to suck up your energy and get your attention to feed his ego, because he has low self-esteem. He can’t even compare to what you already have, so why would you want to settle for less? Why would you lower your standards for someone who has done nothing for you? Exactly what on earth was it that you saw in him? What does he have to offer? He can’t even hold a conversation. Now that you’ve finally taken off your rose-colored lenses, you wonder to yourself, what did you ever see in him????? He probably cast a spell on you and that’s why you became blind and became attracted to him? Instead of wasting his brain cells on playing mind games, why doesn’t he just use that to further his own education instead?

He has physically hurt you in the past, and if you two were to get together, then he will most likely physically hurt you again in the future. He is a narcissist, to dare hurt you under those circumstances and not even be afraid of getting caught! For all you know, he’s probably an alcoholic and a sex addict, with anger issues and jealousy issues. That’s why someone else of the same age as him, with similar educational background, is already married with two children. And yet, this player is probably still frequenting night clubs and sleeping around with various high school dropout floozies (because those are the only kind that will be stupid enough to be fooled by him). I wouldn’t be surprised if he has STD’s as well. Thank goodness we were never in a relationship! If he dares to pull another stupid stunt and hurt you, then report him! Let him reap what he sows!

崇拜

作詞/Lyricist：陳沒
作曲/Composer：彭學斌

你的姿態 你的青睞 我存在在你的存在 (Chorus starts)
ni de zi tai  ni de qing lai  wo cun zai ni de cun zai
Your attitude, your good graces, I existed in your existence.
你以為愛 就是被愛 你揮霍了我的崇拜 (Chorus ends)
ni yi wei ai  jiu shi bei ai  ni hui huo le wo de chong bai
You thought that love meant you being loved. You squandered away all of my adoration for you.

我活了 我愛了 我都不管了
wo huo le  wo ai le  wo dou bu guan le
I’ve lived, I’ve loved, but now I don’t care
心愛到瘋了 恨到酸了就好了
xin ai dao feng le  hen dao suan le  jiu hao le
Loving til your heart’s gone crazy and hating til your heart’s gone sour, that’s enough
可能的 可以的 真的可惜了
ke neng de  ke yi de  zhen de ke xi le
Possibilities, opportunities – It’s sad that they no longer exist
幸福好不容易 怎麼你卻不敢了呢？
xing fu hao bu rong yi  zen me ni que bu gan le ne
It’s really not easy to attain happiness, but still, why don’t you have the courage to try?

我還以為我們能 不同於別人
wo hai yi wei wo men neng  bu tong yu bie ren
I even thought that we could be different from other people
我還以為不可能的 不會不可能
wo hai yi wei bu ke neng de  bu hui bu ke neng
I even thought that the impossible could not be impossible (i.e. that the impossible was possible)

Chorus

風箏有風 海豚有海
feng zheng you geng  hai dun you hai
Kites have the wind, dolphins have the sea
我存在在我的存在
wo cun zai zai wo de cun zai
I exist for myself
所以明白 所以離開
suo yi ming bai  suo yi li kai
so I can understand, so I can leave (you)
所以不再為愛而愛
Suo yi bu zai wei ai er ai
so I no longer love because of love

我己存在 在你之外
Zi ji cun zai  zai ni zi wai
I’ll live alone, apart from you

Another classic Cantonese love song, sung by the late Anita Mui. R.I.P. 梅艷芳! 🌷 She is an international superstar. However, she never got married, and died in 2003 after battling with cervical cancer.

She wore a wedding gown while singing this last song in her last concert. She spoke of the regret of not having to wear her wedding gown and of not having children. A sad ending for an amazing women who just wanted to experience the normal life experiences….

A beautiful love song sung by Danny Chan. He suffered from mental illnesses and took his own life. R.I.P. 陳百強 ! 🌺

Why should it matter who I am? Let me experience love once again… 💗

不必在乎我是誰

詞曲 李宗盛

我覺得有點累　我生活缺少安慰

wo jiao de you dian lei 　wo sheng huo que shao an wei

I feel a little tired. I don’t have comfort in my life.

我的生活如此乏味　生命像花一樣枯萎

wo de sheng huo ru ci fa wei 　sheng ming xiang hua yi yang ku wei

My life is so tedious, it is like a flower withering away.

我整夜不能睡　可能是因為煙和咖啡

wo zheng ye bu neng shui 　ke neng shi yin wei yan he ka fei

I can’t sleep all night, probably because of all the smoke and coffee.

如果是因為沒有人陪　我願意敞開心扉

ru guo shi yin wei mei you ren pei 　wo yuan yi chang kai xin fei

If it’s because I’m not with anyone, then I’m willing to open up my heart.

幾次真的想讓自己醉 (Chorus starts)

ji ci zhen de xiang rang zi ji zui

A few times I really wanted to get drunk.

讓自己遠離那許多恩怨是非

rang zi ji yuan li na xu duo en yuan shi fei

Keep myself away from the many grudges and wrongs.

讓隱藏已久的渴望隨風飛　喔～忘了我是誰

rang yin cang yi jiu de ke wang sui feng fei 　wo ～wang le wo shi shui

Let the long-hidden desires fly away with the wind. Oh ~ just forget who I am.

女人若沒人愛多可悲

nu ren ruo mei ren ai duo ke bei

How sad for a woman is if she’s unloved.

就算是有人聽我的歌會流淚

jiu suan shi you ren ting wo de ge hui liu lei

Even if my song touches someone’s heart and makes them cry

我還是真的期待有人追　何必在乎我是誰 (Chorus ends)

wo hai shi zhen de qi dai you ren zhui 　he bi zai hu wo shi shui

I really still wish for someone to pursue me. Why should it matter who I am?

我想你說的對　寂寞使人憔悴

wo xiang ni shuo de dui 　ji mo shi ren qiao cui

I think you’re right. Loneliness wears one out.

是寂寞使人心碎　戀愛中的女人纔美

shi ji mo shi ren xin sui 　lian ai zhong de nu ren shan mei

It’s loneliness that breaks ones heart. A woman is most beautiful when she is in love.

我想我做的對　我想我不會後悔

wo xiang wo zuo de dui 　wo xiang wo bu hui hou hui

I think I made the right decision. I don’t think I’ll regret it.

不管春風怎樣吹　讓我先好好愛一回

bu guan chun feng zen yang chui 　rang wo xian hao hao ai yi hui

No matter how the spring breeze blows, let me experience love first.

Chorus

我想我做的對　我想我不會後悔

wo xiang wo zuo de dui 　wo xiang wo bu hui hou hui

I think I made the right decision. I don’t think I’ll regret it.

不管春風怎樣吹　讓我先好好愛一回

bu guan chun feng zen yang chui 　rang wo xian hao hao ai yi hui

No matter how the spring breeze blows, let me experience love first. 💗

Is love like a bubble? Is it so fragile that it bursts with the slightest touch? 💕

Bubbles ~ 泡沫

~ G.E.M. – 鄧紫棋

陽光下的泡沫　是彩色的

yang guang xia de pao mo 　shi cai se de

The bubbles under the sun are filled with rainbow colors

就像被騙的我　是幸福的

jiu xiang bei pian de wo 　shi xing fu de

Just like me who is being deceived, yet still feel happy

追究什麼對錯　你的謊言　基於你還愛我

zhui jiu shi me dui cuo 　ni de huang yan 　ji yu ni hai ai wo

Who’s to decide what’s right or wrong? Your lies are based on the fact that you still love me

美麗的泡沫　雖然一剎花火

mei li de pao mo 　sui ran yi cha hua huo

Beautiful bubbles are like a flash of fireworks

你所有承諾　雖然都太脆弱

ni suo you cheng nuo 　sui ran dou tai cui ruo

All of your promises though, are too fragile,

但愛像泡沫　如果能夠看破　有什麼難過

dan ai xiang pao mo 　ru guo neng gou kan po 　you shi me nan guo

But love is like a bubble. What’s to be sad if you can see through it?

早該知道泡沫　一觸就破

zao gai zhi dao pao mo 　yi chu jiu po

I should have known that bubbles break at the slightest touch

就像已傷的心　不勝折磨

jiu xiang yi shang de xin 　bu sheng she mo

Just like a broken heart that is being tormented

也不是誰的錯　謊言再多　基於你還愛我

ye bu shi shui de cuo 　huang yan zai duo 　ji yu ni hai ai wo

Who is to decide who’s fault it is? All of your lies on based on the fact that you still love me.

美麗的泡沫　雖然一剎花火

mei li de pao mo 　sui ran yi cha hua huo

Beautiful bubbles are like a flash of fireworks

你所有承諾　雖然都太脆弱

ni suo you cheng nuo 　sui ran dou tai cui ruo

All of your promises though, are too fragile

愛本是泡沫　如果能夠看破　有什麼難過

ai ben shi pao mo 　ru guo neng gou kan po 　you shi me nan guo

Love is just like a bubble. What’s to be sad if you can see through it?

再美的花朵　盛開過就凋落

zai mei de hua duo 　sheng kai guo jiu diao luo

Even after the most beautiful flower blooms, it will then wilt

再亮眼的星　一閃過就墮落

zai liang yan de xing 　yi shan guo jiu duo luo

Even after the brightest star flashes, it will then fall

愛本是泡沫　如果能夠看破　有什麼難過

ai ben shi pao mo 　ru guo neng gou kan po 　you shi me nan guo

Love is just like a bubble. What’s to be sad if you can see through it?

為什麼難過　有什麼難過　為什麼難過

wei shi me nan guo 　you shi me nan guo 　wei shi me nan guo

Why feel sad? What’s to be sad of ? Why feel sad?

全都是泡沫　只一剎的花火

quan dou shi pao mo 　zhi yi cha de hua huo

They’re all just bubbles, just a flash of fireworks.

你所有承諾　全部都太脆弱

ni suo you cheng nuo 　quan bu dou tai cui ruo

All of your promises are too fragile.

而你的輪廓　怪我沒有看破　才如此難過

er ni de lun kuo 　guai wo mei you kan po 　cai ru ci nan guo

And the true you, it’s my fault for not seeing through it. That’s why I’m now so sad…

相愛的把握　要如何再搜索

xiang ai de ba wo 　yao ru he zai sou suo

The delicate balance in Love, how do we find that again?

相擁著寂寞　難道就不寂寞

xiang yong zhe ji mo 　nan dao jiu bu ji mo

Even when we’re holding each other, we still feel lonely. Isn’t that also being alone itself?

愛本是泡沫　怪我沒有看破　才如此難過

ai ben shi pao mo 　guai wo mei you kan po 　cai ru ci nan guo

Love is just like a bubble. Strange that I did not see through it, and that’s why I’m so sad now..

在雨下的泡沫　一觸就破

zai yu xia de pao mo 　yi chu jiu po

The bubble in the rain breaks at the slightest touch

當初熾熱的心　早已沉沒

dang chu chi re de xin 　zao yi chen mei

The initial burning flames of love have already been extinguished.

說什麼你愛我　如果騙我　我寧願你沉默

shuo shi me ni ai wo 　ru guo pian wo 　wo ning yuan ni chen mo

You still tell me that you love me. But if you’re lying to me, then I’d rather you say nothing.

I am married to a functional alcoholic that is devoid of emotions. I have strong feelings towards someone that is also non-communicative, non-expressive of his feelings, and seems to enjoy inflicting pain upon me. I started having deeper conversations with someone else, but just found out that he enjoys having pain being inflicted upon him; which is not what I enjoy, so we’ll just have to remain friends.

I never need to show my ID, except for my initial doctor’s appointment. Last night, I was emptying my husband’s pockets to wash his jacket, and I found his ID in his pocket. Why would he need to show his ID? He hasn’t seen a doctor for a very long time now and I would know if he had a doctor’s appointment, since I set them up for him. The only time one would need to show their ID in the US is to buy cigarettes, alcohol, or to enter a club.

I just washed his jacket last weekend, so I know that he used his ID card some time this week. I asked him why did he have to use his ID? I was secretly hoping that he would give me a reasonable answer. Even if it was just a half-reasonable answer, I would probably just accept it and let it go. However, he became very defensive and started yelling at me and insulting me. He started complaining of being married to me. I asked him if he wanted to separate? Perhaps, we still live under the same roof but separate, since we’ve already been doing that for over a year now anyway?

I told him to stop yelling. I refuse to be gaslighted by him any longer. All this time, in order to keep peace, I just let him gaslight me, even though I know that he is bullshitting me. This is why I get depressed, because I need to suppress the truth, in order to keep peace. I told him that I know there’s no good reason for him having to show his ID. He leaves work every day late at night, I even suspect that he may be seeing someone. But how would I know? We’ve been sleeping in separate rooms and lately, I’ve decided to stop waiting up for him so I’m in bed before he comes home. I’m not even sure what time he’s back home or if he drank?

And then there’s this person that I had developed strong feelings for quite a while now. However, we hardly see each other or speak with each other. He’s flighty. One day he’ll act like he cares about me, but the next time I see him, he’s flirting with someone else, or just acting cold towards me. I’m beginning to realize that there’s probably just physical attraction between us, and nothing more. Besides, we’re so different in so many ways… And he seems to enjoy inflicting pain upon others. He has hurt me in the past…

I started having some light-hearted enjoyable conversations with another person, but just found out that he enjoys having pain being inflicted upon him. I thought about it. I’m not that kind of person. I don’t enjoy having pain being inflicted upon me, and neither do I enjoy inflicting pain upon others as well. Even if it ultimately brings them pleasure. And will I ever be able to find a man that does not enjoy drinking alcohol?

At this point, I don’t think I’ll ever find the right person for me, sigh…. I think I can only rely on myself. Love myself, honor my own needs and wants. Perhaps this is my life lesson, my life journey…

Vincent (Starry, Starry Night)

~ Don McLean

Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer’s day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy, linen land

Now, I understand what you tried to say to me
And how you suffered for your sanity
And how you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent’s eyes of china blue

Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist’s loving hand

Now, I understand, what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they did not know how
Perhaps they’ll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night

You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you, Vincent
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget

Like the strangers that you’ve met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now, I think I know what you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen, they’re not listening still
Perhaps they never will…

Mom called me this morning to check up on me, see how I’m feeling after yesterday. 💗 I’m okay, still feeling tired and a little groggy, but good-spirited! 😊

Covid seems to be under control now in Minnesota, and the US, in general, knock on wood….

However, it’s really bad in Taiwan. The main reason being that only around 1% of the population has been vaccinated. Taiwan is not part of the WHO, thanks to China blocking us from joining, so it’s very hard for Taiwan to purchase vaccines for Covid-19.

I asked mom to please be very careful, and to not eat outside or go to populated areas.

This song “Hand in Hand” was originally created to fight the SARS virus back in 2003. Many singers got together again now to sing the new version to help fight against Covid-19.

I pray that every single person on this earth can be healthy, happy and safe from war, famine, natural disasters and I pray that our entire planet can destroy this Covid-19 pandemic! 🙏💖

Hand in Hand ~ 手牽手

作詞：王力宏/陶喆/陳鎮川

作曲：王力宏/陶喆

這世界乍看之下有點灰

zhe shi jie zha kan zhi xia you dian hui

The world looks a little gray at first.

你微笑的臉有些疲憊

ni wei xiao de lian you xie pi bei

Your smiling face is a little tired.

抬起頭天空就要亮起來

tai qi tou tian kong jiu yao liang qi lai

Raise your head and the sky will light up

不要放棄你的希望和期待

bu yao fang qi ni de xi wang he qi dai

Do not give up your hopes and expectations

沙漠中的一滴淚化成綠洲的湖水

sha mo zhong de yi di lei hua cheng lu zhou de hu shui

A tear in the desert turns into an oasis

真心若能被看見夢會實現

zhen xin ruo neng bei kan jian meng hui shi xian

If the heart can be seen. Dream will come true

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

不要再恐懼絕不要放棄

bu yao zai kong ju jue bu yao fang qi

No more fear. never give up.

這一切將會渡過

zhe yi qie jiang hui du guo

This will all be over.

因為你和我才有明天的彩虹

yin wei ni he wo cai you ming tian de cai hong

Because you and I have a rainbow tomorrow

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

這一刻不要躲在害怕後面

zhe yi ke bu yao duo zai hai pa hou mian

Don’t hide behind fear at this moment

這個世界需要多一點信念

zhe ge shi jie xu yao duo yi dian xin nian

The world needs more faith.

那塵埃不會真的將你打敗

na chen ai bu hui zhen de jiang ni da bai

That dust won’t really beat you.

你將會意外生命的光采

ni jiang hui yi wai sheng ming de guang cai

You will be surprised at the brilliance of life.

風雨過去那一天悲傷就要停下來

feng yu guo qu na yi tian bei shang jiu yao ting xia lai

The storm passed that day sadness will stop

感覺你身邊的愛它存在

gan jiao ni shen bian de ai ta cun zai

Feel the love around you. it exists.

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

不要再恐懼絕不要放棄

bu yao zai kong ju jue bu yao fang qi

No more fear. never give up.

這一切將會渡過

zhe yi qie jiang hui du guo

This will all be over.

因為你和我才有明天的彩虹

yin wei ni he wo cai you ming tian de cai hong

Because you and I have a rainbow tomorrow

我的手握著溫暖的火種

wo de shou wo zhe wen nuan de huo zhong

My hands hold warm fire

散發一點光和熱就看到笑容

san fa yi dian guang he re jiu kan dao xiao rong

A little bit of light and heat and a smile.

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

不要再恐懼絕不要放棄

bu yao zai kong ju jue bu yao fang qi

No more fear. never give up.

這一切將會渡過

zhe yi qie jiang hui du guo

This will all be over.

因為你和我才有明天的彩虹

yin wei ni he wo cai you ming tian de cai hong

Because you and I have a rainbow tomorrow

手牽手我的朋友愛永遠在你左右

shou qian shou wo de peng you ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Hand in hand my friend love is always around you

不要再恐懼絕不要放棄這一切將會渡過

bu yao zai kong ju jue bu yao fang qi zhe yi qie jiang hui du guo

Don’t be afraid, never give up. this will happen.

因為你和我才有明天的彩虹

yin wei ni he wo cai you ming tian de cai hong

Because you and I have a rainbow tomorrow

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

手牽手一起渡過

shou qian shou yi qi du guo

Hand in hand.

愛永遠在你左右

ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Love is always around you

手牽手我的朋友愛永遠在你左右

shou qian shou wo de peng you ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Hand in hand my friend love is always around you

不要再恐懼絕不要放棄這一切將會渡過

bu yao zai kong ju jue bu yao fang qi zhe yi qie jiang hui du guo

Don’t be afraid, never give up. this will happen.

牽著我的手看見明天的彩虹

qian zhe wo de shou kan jian ming tian de cai hong

Take my hand see tomorrow’s rainbow

手牽手我的朋友愛永遠在你左右

shou qian shou wo de peng you ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Hand in hand my friend love is always around you

手牽手一起渡過愛永遠在你左右

shou qian shou yi qi du guo ai yong yuan zai ni zuo you

Hand in hand to spend together love is always around you

手牽手我的朋友

shou qian shou wo de peng you

Holding hands, my friend.

I am SO close to canceling my doctor’s appointment for this Friday. So, so close….. But all I’ll be doing is delaying it. It’s like my body is once again helping my mind to do so by becoming ill and having all sorts of symptoms coming up.

I gotta give credit and thanks to my body for doing so. She is so kind and loving towards me. She knows of my personality, of forcing myself to do things that I don’t want to do, or is not good for me. So, over the years, I think my body just helps me out whenever I am torn with wanting to do something or not. She’ll just give me my way out. Even if I Should be doing it….. Sigh……

Thank you, my Dear body, for being so loving, kind and compassionate towards me. But, I think I should just go for it this time. You can relax now. You can stop acting up now. You can stop being ill and having symptoms now. I’ll be OK. We’ll be OK, ok? 💕

快樂天堂 Happy Paradise

作詞 呂學海 作曲者 陳復明

大象長長的鼻子正昂揚

da xiang zhang zhang de bi zi zheng ang yang

The elephant’s long nose is high

全世界都舉起了希望

quan shi jie dou ju qi le xi wang

The world has raised its hopes.

孔雀旋轉著碧麗輝煌

kong que xuan zhuan zhe bi li hui huang

The peacock swerves with the brilliance of Billie

沒有人應該永遠沮喪

mei you ren ying gai yong yuan ju sang

No one should ever be depressed

河馬張開口吞掉了水草

he ma zhang kai kou tun diao le shui cao

The hippopotamus opens his mouth and swallows the plants.

煩惱都裝進牠的大肚量

fan nao dou zhuang jin tuo de da du liang

All the troubles are in his belly.

老鷹帶領著我們飛翔

lao ying dai ling zhe wo men fei xiang

The eagles fly with us.

更高更遠更需要夢想

geng gao geng yuan geng xu yao meng xiang

Higher, farther, more need to dream

告訴你一個神秘的地方

gao su ni yi ge shen mi de di fang

I’ll tell you a secret place.

一個孩子們的快樂天堂

yi ge hai zi men de kuai le tian tang

A children’s Paradise.

跟人間一樣的忙碌擾攘

gen ren jian yi yang de mang lu rao rang

As busy as the world.

有哭有笑當然也會有悲傷

you ku you xiao dang ran ye hui you bei shang

There are tears, laughter, of course, there will be sadness.

我們擁有同樣的陽光

wo men yong you tong yang de yang guang

We have the same sun.