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- 1. Goals of Distress Tolerance (P. 321):
- a. Survive Crisis Situations:
- without making them worse.
- b. Accept Reality:
- replace suffering and being “stuck” with ordinary pain and the possibility of moving forward.
- c. Become Free:
- of having to satisfy the demands of your own desires, urges, and intense emotions.
- 2. Overview: Crisis Survival Skills (P. 325):
- These are skills for tolerating painful events, urges and emotions when you cannot make things better right away:
- a. The STOP Skill
- b. Pros and Cons
- c. TIP your body chemistry
- d. Distract with Wise Mind ACCEPTS
- e. Self-soothe with the five senses
- f. IMPROVE the moment
- 3. When to Use Crisis Survival Skills (P. 326):
- a. You are in a crisis when the situation is:
- highly stressful
- short-term (i.e. it won’t last for a long time)
- creates intense pressure to resolve the crisis now
- b. Use crisis survival skills when:
- you have intense pain that cannot be helped quickly
- you want to act on your emotions, but it will only make things worse
- emotion mind threatens to overwhelm you, and you need to stay skillful
- you are overwhelmed, yet demands must be met
- arousal is extreme, but problems can not be resolved immediately
- c. Don’t use crisis survival skills for:
- everyday problems
- solving all of your life problems
- making your life worth living
- 4. STOP Skill (P. 327):
- a. Stop:
- don’t just react. Stop! Freeze! Do not move a muscle!
- your emotions may try to make you act without thinking.
- stay in control!
- b. Take a step back:
- take a step back from the situation
- take a break
- let go
- take a deep breath
- do not let your feelings make you act impulsively
- c. Observe:
- notice what is going on inside and outside of you?
- what is the situation?
- what are your thoughts and feelings?
- what are others saying or doing?
- d. Proceed mindfully:
- act with awareness
- in deciding what to do, consider your thoughts and feelings, the situation, and other people’s thoughts and feelings
- think about your goals
- ask Wise Mind
- which actions will make it better or worse?
- 5. Pros and Cons (P. 328):
- Use pros and cons any time you have to decide between two courses of action.
- An urge is a crisis when it is very strong and when acting on the urge will make things worse in the long term.
- Make a list of the pros and cons of acting on your crisis urges. These might be to engage in dangerous, addictive, or harmful behaviors,
- or they might be to give in, give up, or avoid doing what is necessary to build a life you want to live.
- Make another list of the pros and cons of resisting crisis urges – i.e. tolerating the distress and not giving in to the urges.
- Evaluate both sets of pros and cons
- a. Pros of acting on crisis urges
- b. Cons of acting on crisis urges
- c. Pros of resisting crisis urges
- d. Cons of resisting crisis urges
- Before an overwhelming crisis urge hits:
- a. Write out your pros and cons; carry them with you
- b. Rehearse your pros and cons over and over
- When an overwhelming crisis urge hits:
- a. Review your pros and cons. Get out your list and read it over again
- i. imagine the positive consequences of resisting the urge
- ii. think of the negative consequences of giving in to crisis behaviors
- iii. remember past consequences when you have acted on crisis urges
- Example: Noisy neighbors
- play/park onto our side of the driveway
- loud car music with bass
- loud noises/thumping sounds that carries over to our side
- Urge: walk over and ask them to correct their behavior
- If I walk over:
- Pros:
- they may stop their annoying behaviors
- I will feel much better right away!
- Cons:
- they may get worse
- they may periodically and intentionally be loud
- they may cause more new problems
- I’ll feel like I’m not so resilient to noises
