💐 21 Day to Calm Aliveness Week 1

1. Link To The Program:

Link: https://traumahealingaccelerated.mykajabi.com/library

2. Introduction:

A. The 5 Agreements:

a. We agree to be present to our best degree possible and for that to be good enough (for today):

b. We will not hold ourselves to the standard of perfectionism, we will simply start with what we can do right now:

c. We agree to personal responsibility:

• We are each responsible for the energy we bring to the group and responsible for our reactions.
• There is no space here for blaming others for our problems, our moods, or our reactions.  
• There is no space here for saving others from their problems, moods, or reactions.  
• We each agree to be responsible for ourselves, our experiences, and our journey.

d. We agree to keep this a safe space for everyone:

• We do this by staying in the present moment and sharing what sensations we are noticing right now in our bodies.  
• We agree to stay out of the past and its stories in order to keep this a safe space for everyone.   

e. We agree to take direction and not give advice. We are here to learn:

3. Week 1:

A. Day 0 (03/31/23): Set Your Intention for this Journey:

Started the actual program originally on 03/01/23 (Wed).

a. Watch “Introduction”: Welcome to Your Journey: Link

b. Watch “Recording of Live – Session Day 1” – Intro: Link

• Set your intention for this 21-day journey:
• be open.
• be fully present.
• experience it, and not talk about it.

B. Day 1 (04/01/23): Tracking Your Nervous System:

a. Watch “Day 1”: Tracking the Nervous System: Link

• What does your body feel like to be in the parasympathetic state:
• What does your body feel like to be in the sympathetic state:

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 2” – Tracking Your Nervous System: Link

• Our system has a certain capacity. It can only hold so much. It can only be present for so much.
• We have a current capacity for presence.
• When you notice that you’re drifting away, gently redirect yourself back to the present moment.
• Don’t beat yourself up for having less presence.
• When you notice that you’ve started to drift away, ask yourself: “Isn’t that interesting, that my mind felt the need to drift away?”.
• As you do this work, your capacity for presence will change, and you will be able to hold more joy, more presence, and more beauty because your capacity has expanded.
• The goal is not to change anything right now; the goal is to “notice”.

c. Bonus: Three States of the Nervous System: Link

• What is the difference between a Stress and a Trauma:

i. The Three States of the Nervous System:

• Sympathetic State – Anxiety
• Parasympathetic State – Social Engagement – Calm Aliveness, Curiosity, Connected, Present, Grounded, Healthy, Secure.
• Dorsal Vagal Freeze State – Overwhelm. This is where trauma resides.

ii. Stress:

• When you’re under stress, your body is high in energy, and trying to get you through this hill while biking (stress state).
• You may become deficient in Magnesium, etc.

iii. Trauma:

• This may be when you decide to sit down on the seat when climbing up a hill (freeze state).
• However, this will only cause us to shake even harder while sitting on the seat when biking upwards.
• Trauma is something that has overwhelmed our system.
• It is due to “Too Much Too Fast”, and/or “Too Little for Too Long”.

d. Song: Brave – Day 1 – Tracking Your Nervous System: Link

C. Day 2 (04/02/23): Orienting:

a. Watch “Day 2”: Orienting: Link

• To bring your body from the sympathetic state back into the parasympathetic state.
• Feel free to do what your body feels like doing at the moment, e.g. standing up, sitting down, etc., without questioning why your body wants to do that ~ judgment free.
• Be in the present moment in our body.
• Our nervous system is designed to keep us safe, and it uses info from our environment to determine whether we are safe or not.
• We are using the same senses to tell our nervous system that we are safe.
• Whenever you feel unsafe, use this exercise first – our First Aid kit.
• This allows our body to shift from a state of fear to parasympathetic.
• Use as many senses as your can: eyesight, hearing, smell, touch, and taste.
• With the intention of asking yourself: “Is there anything that is unsafe in my environment?”.
• What noises do you hear?
• Are there noises in your environment that are telling you that you are not safe?
• If so, then what can you do about it?
• Put on white noise, or classical music to drown out other noises in your environment that are telling your body that you are not safe.
• You have the power to change your environment, so that the sounds in your environment that are informing you that you are safe, instead of being in danger.
• What are you tasting? Is there something in your coffee that is telling you that you are not safe?
• What are you smelling?
• What are you seeing? Look all around your environment that you need to, in order for you to feel that you are safe.
• e.g. ceiling, under the table, etc. until you feel a sensation that is telling you that you are safe, e.g. having a deep spontaneous breath.
• e.g. a certain color, a picture, books that are piling high, etc. Do you notice any active danger in your environment?

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 3” – Orienting: Link

• Just ‘noticing” the different body sensations that are coming up with the exercises.
• What’s the purpose of this program? What’s supposed to happen here?
• We are on an experiential journey into our nervous system, not about our nervous system.
• Keep the stories of our past in the past.
• Goals for the first week: Just to learn something new about your body. Don’t expect a certain outcome. Just notice whatever happens when you do these exercises.
• Don’t attempt on changing, just learn about your body for this first week. Let your body open up at its own pace.
• Just let your body show up as you are. Your body may not be ready to “talk” to you and open up yet.
• Learn something new about your system.
• To learn one new thing about your system today.

c. Bonus: What is Regulation?: Link

• How Does Regulation Affect My Physical Health?
• Regulation is at the core of Attachment Trauma.
• Regulation is the ability to keep our nervous system in the spectrum of balance and health.
• We can get clues to see if we have a history of attachment trauma is to seeing if our emotions go to extremes.
• Regulation is at the foundation of all of our health – physical, emotional, and mental.
• See responses (e.g. problematic behaviors) as problems to regulation.

• Connect with your Body
• Start to disrupt a Biology of Trauma
• Address thoughts/Beliefs
• Strengthen the cycle of health and wholeness

d. Song: I Could See Peace – Day 2 – Orienting: Link

D. Day 3 (04/03/23): Grounding:

a. Watch “Day 3”: Grounding: Link

• Help to shift your body into the parasympathetic state of calm aliveness.
• What does it take to feel “Grounded”. What exactly does your body need to feel “Grounded”?
• Principles: Your weight needs to be felt in specific places in your body – your feet and your hips.
• Sitting is the best way to feel “Grounded”, because there are more points of contact for your body.
• Your feet: need to be able to push into the ground. You can put something under your feet (pillows, vibration plate, acupressure mat, etc.).
• What part of your feet feels the best? e.g., when pressure is being put on the center part of your feet. You can put tennis balls under your feet to provide pressure so that your body feels a sense of being grounded (e.g. you may take a deep spontaneous breath, indicating that you are shifting into the parasympathetic state).
• Your hips: Find where you like to find the pressure in your hips. Keep leaning back until you start feeling a deep spontaneous breath building up in your chest.
• Do this when you’re feeling a bit “spacey”, so that you can start to feel more “grounded”.
• Now that you have your feet and hips grounded, you can bring in the orienting.
• The grounding and orienting combined together are synergistic so that you will reach that sense of safety inside faster and shift into the parasympathetic state.

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 4” – Grounding: Link

• Our brain asks many questions because it tries to make meaning out of something, the “Why”?
• Why did that happen? Why did I have this sensation?
• These questions are not helpful at this time.
• The secret to how the magic happens on this journey: Attention and Intention.
• Attention: where is our mind’s attention? Ans: on the body. e.g., how does my stomach feel right now? How does my chest feel right now as I do this exercise? Keep our mind’s attention on the body.
• Redirect our mind’s attention to what our body is experiencing?
• Intention: be open, stay curious, be consistent, be gentle, be present, etc.
• Dr Aimie’s practice: Imagine yourself on the bank of a river. As things float down the river (twigs, leaves, boats, branches, etc. ~ your thoughts), just notice them floating down.
• Oh, isn’t that interesting, I just had a thought that ….., or “What a great question? Now what do I feel in my body?”.
• and just watch that unhelpful thought run down the river.
• Don’t follow that thought.
• Choose which thoughts are helpful and which ones are not helpful.
• Helpful: I wonder what would happen if I did this exercise this way? Or if I went to a different location to do this exercise? or if I did this exercise standing up instead of sitting down? These thoughts help our mind to stay with the body.
• Not Helpful: What does it mean that this happened? What does it mean that this did not happen? Let these thoughts float down the river. Wave at these thoughts as they flow down the river.
• Did you experience your orienting in a new way, after doing the grounding first?

c. Bonus: Weighted Blanket: Link

• Helps to calm the nervous system.
• Helpful for: people whose nervous system can tend to go into overwhelm and freeze. People who tend to be anxious and easily activated.
• It causes a calming pressure to your body.
• Useful for people who tend to Not “feel” their body.
• To find the weight to use: get 10% of your weight.

d. Song: Here I Stand – Day 3 – Grounding: Link

E. Day 4 (04/07/23): Creating Space – Pushing Away: @10.30 am

a. Watch “Day 4”: Creating Space – “Push Away”: Link

• The Go-To exercise when you want to pull someone out of the sympathetic or shut-down state.
• Shifts you back into the baseline (parasympathetic) state.
• Use this when things feel like they’ve been too much.
• Do the Push Away: do the movement of actually pushing away. Engage the muscles of actually pushing away. Do this when feeling grounded (sitting down is better to feeling grounded).
• Lean back so that you also have back pressure.
• Bring your hands as close to your chest and shoulders as you can. Push away as if you were pushing away a huge heavy boulder.
• Feel all the muscles in your arms being engaged.
• Push in all directions.
• Do this exercise two more times.
• Notice the process that happens immediately afterward in your body after you do this “Push Away” exercise. What sensations do you feel in your body?

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 5” – Creating Space – Push Away: Link

• It’s normal at this stage to experience: tired, sleepy, exhausted, etc., after doing these exercises.
• Let’s pretend we’re having a snowball fight together. What would you do if someone was ready to hit you with a snowball? You’d be bracing yourself.
• So many of us go through life “bracing” ourselves. When we come to do these exercises where for the first time, we are creating moments for ourselves where the “bracing” patterns are softening.
• But, because we’d been bracing for so long, we felt tired and exhausted.
• Your level of exhaustion is a direct reflection of how much and how long you need to live “bracing” yourself. How much danger has been around you, or how much danger do you feel you have had to brace yourself with?
• When you give moments of safety to your body, and your “bracing” patterns start to soften, you will start to feel the exhaustion that has been around all this time.
• Imagine holding a huge boulder, and you take away that rock for just a moment in time. In the stress of having to hold things together, you didn’t recognize how tired you were getting. The exhaustion is underneath the surface. But when you take away that rock for just a moment in time, your body goes into “collapse” that has been around all this time.
• How long has it been since you needed to hold things up and hold things together?
• Have compassion for yourself for all this time.
• You are telling your body that “just for this 10 mins of exercise, I’ll take this rock off your shoulders so that you can soften your “bracing” patterns”. You’ll then be able to feel the underlying exhaustion that has been within you all this time.
• I’m allowing my body to feel the exhaustion underneath because I’m creating the safety for my body to soften the “bracing” pattern.
• When you give your body what it needs, it will do the healing itself.
• By creating safety and a felt sense of support, you will give your body what it needs to heal. And it will do its process, and sometimes, you will feel more tired and more exhausted because of how long it has had to do the “bracing”.
• What one thing have you learned about your system today?
• Push forward, to the sides, up, down, etc. ~ create all this lovely space for yourself.

c. Bonus: Dysregulation and the Freeze: Link

• Nervous system dysregulation is a key feature of attachment disorder.
• With a healthy nervous system, you can calm down after the stress is over.
• Another key feature of the dysregulated nervous system is the “Freeze” response.
• A Trauma response always has the sympathetic system as the first line of defense. If we feel that we’re unable to survive, we go into the freeze response (the second line of defense in a trauma response), which is the system’s collapse to conserve our energy.
• We need to heal the freeze response in attachment disorders and PTSD.
• We do this by releasing this charged, negative stored energy in the nervous system and the muscles. An easy way is just by stretching the muscles. By stretching the muscles, you start stretching the nervous system.
• The other way to release and unfreeze the nervous system is through yoga. Yoga stretching releases the deeper muscles that regular stretching does not, especially with the psoas muscle. Be gentle with yourself.

d. Song: Let It Go – Day 4 – Creating Space: Link

F. Day 5 (04/09/23) @ 10.30 am: Voo:

a. Watch “Day 5”: Voo: Link

• The most powerful exercise for bringing life into the Vagus nerve (which controls our freeze response).
• The polyvagal theory says that there are two origins to the Vagal nerve in our brainstem.
• When the healthy vagus nerve activity is going on, that is what puts us in the parasympathetic state.
• The other part of the Vagus nerve (which comes from a different spot/origin in the brainstem) gets activated by something being overwhelming.
• When something becomes overwhelming, it sends a message to that part of the Vagus nerve of the brainstem, which then sends a message down through the Dorsal Vagal nerve for shutting everything down – hibernation, energy conservation. It has been too much and has broke us.
• This exercise gently brings life into that Vagus nerve and that frozen, shut-down, overwhelmed parts of us.
• The Voo exercise: vibrate the Vagus nerve by vibrating our vocal cords because the Vagus nerve runs between our vocal cords and our esophagus down our neck.
• Then it runs behind the esophagus down into the stomach, where it branches throughout our digestive system.
• The tips of the Vagus n. are down into our pelvis but not down into our legs.
• That’s why when a person is in the “Freeze” response, they will often say that they can not feel their legs.
• Make the noise “Voo”. Take a deep breath, then push all of the air out until you have no breath left. Stop, pause, let your system settle, and see what happens.
• Tips to be more effective:
• a. Let your feet feel grounded while you’re doing this – this allows you to feel and push the air from your pelvis (tip of your Vagus n) all the way out. That is where you want the sound to be coming from.
• b. Put your hands on your belly to remind yourself of where to focus your awareness of where the source of your breath is coming from. It’s coming from as deep into your belly as you can.
• Focus on the energy, breath, and the sounds coming from deep inside your belly.
• Do this every day to reset your nervous system.
• 7:38 mins – the entire process.

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 6” – Voo: Link

• How do we make what we’re doing here “stick” with us and change us for the rest of our lives?
• This is a journey of creating different experiences for ourselves and intentionally learning how to create different experiences for ourselves.
• The first few days are just to learn about our nervous system, not to change it.
• As we progress, our goal is to learn how to create new experiences for our system.
• We need to be creating different experiences for ourselves.
• The way to change is to create different experiences that our system will adapt to.
• We are learning what our nervous system needs to have an environment of safety and support ~ through creating experiences that we have to “stick” and “last”.
• Imagine we’re in a garden where there’s a lot of wind, and there’s a tree that has been growing in an environment with a lot of wind, so it has been growing sideways.
• We don’t just ask this tree, “What’s wrong with you?”.
• We can’t just bend this tree straight right away. Otherwise, the trunk will break ~ Too Much, Too Fast.
• Instead, we tell this tree that “I have this vision of you living as you were meant to live”. Every day, I will build support around you and put up these tie-strings to guide you as to how to grow, and I will adjust the support every day to create ju7st the right environment you’re supposed to grow and to live the way you were intended to live.
• By creating these experiences of safety and support, we are changing the environment around our system to help it grow and live the way it was intended to live ~ happy, free, on purpose, etc.
• We do this a little bit every day. We’re not looking for the big emotional releases. We’re looking for the small things, the beginning of the tree growing in the right direction.
• What may be considered a small shift is actually a very significant one, e..g I felt something for the first time.
• The small, consistent things we do that create the small, consistent changes, it what make it “stick”. So that it is sustainable and will not break it in the process.
• This way, our system can slowly adapt to the new experiences we have created for ourselves.
• *15:10 mins: Do three Voo’s together.
• Can combine Grounding, Voo, Push-Way, & Orienting Together.

c. Bonus: The Body’s Survival Systems and Why We Accumulate Stress: Link

• Our body never completed the “survival” cycle of “activation,” i.e., when we go into a survival pattern, our sympathetic nervous system becomes activated.
• Coherence: you nervous system is in the flow, and not stuck in the pattern of over-reacting, or under-reacting to something.
• The mind is giving the body the message of: I Am Safe, All is Well, I AM Ok.

d. Song: Breathe – Day 5 – Voo: Link

G. Day 6 (0411/23): Marking Territory:

a. Watch “Day 6”: Marking Territory: Link

• We will be moving around today.
• It will change the baseline safety that your nervous system will feel in any situation and in any room.
• Our nervous system gauges whether we are safe or not through our sensory system.
• Today, we will be utilizing the “touch” in such a way that our nervous system (reverse engineering) to intentionally inform our nervous system that we are indeed safe, in a safe place.
• Walk around the room and touch things. This is what happens in the animal kingdom, where they establish their sense of safety and determine their boundaries.
• Anything inside of that boundary is not a threat.
• We want to train our nervous system to do the same thing, to mark our boundaries so we know that anything in this space we are in is safe. This will allow our nervous system to settle and be calmer.
• We’ll just walk around the room, touching the boundaries of the room. Touch things that are important to you – not in a possessive sense, but in a presence sense.
• To remind yourself that “I am here”.
• Settle and notice what is happening in your body. e.g., a softening and relaxation of your stomach, release of stomach knots, etc.
• Do this daily in your house, bedroom, and places that are part of your boundaries.
• When you go to a new place, you will find your nervous system wanting to walk around the room and make things, to say that I am here, my presence is here, I have shown up here, and your nervous system will be able to settle down more. You don’t have to make it obvious.
• Combine this with your orienting skills as well.

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 7” – Marking Territory: Link

• Make these become your own exercises. Personalize your exercises.
• Experiment with them and see which tools and variations your body likes most.
• 11:30 mins ~ Three Voos Exercise:

c. Bonus: Morning Routine for Resilience: Link

• To set your nervous system up to be resilient for that day’s stressors.
• When you first wake up: do not check your phone, emails, or social media.
• Start with Music Meditation: I Will Surrender, All I Need (JJ Heller) – put yourself into the emotional state you want to be in.
• Ground yourself and make sure that your nervous system is turned on.
• There are so many sensory endings in your feet that if you stimulate them, then it will fully turn on your nervous system. e.g. use acupressure mat.
• Feeling where your body is in space is very important for you to be present and not be in the “freeze” response.
• Nutrition: Get tea with healthy fats and protein (bulletproof coffee/tea).
• Nervous System Stimulation: Can use vibration plates, trampolines, etc.

d. Song: Today I Choose – Day 6 – Marking Territory: Link

H. Day 7 (04/13/23): Containment:

a. Watch “Day 7”: Containment: Link

• Quickly shifts your body into a feeling of safety.
• Figure out how to give yourself a hug to have a felt experience of safety. How does your body respond to specific touch and pressure?
• Put your hands on either side of your upper chest. Notice what that feels like?
• Move your hands further out on your shoulders.
• Does it feel better? If not, then what makes it feel better?
• Do some experimenting.
• Now experience with how tight you’re hugging yourself.
• Lean back so your back can feel the support of the chair.
• Signs that your body is shifting into an experience of safety: eg. softening of your stomach.
• You can grab your weighted blanket as well.
• Feel where’s the impulse to move this time? e.g., a hand underneath, the other hand on top, and pushing your feet into the ground, etc.
• Add orienting by looking around your surroundings.
• When you feel that “just right spot”, savor it for 30 seconds and pay attention to how that feels in your body. Because by putting that attention to it, is how it will help integrate it into your nervous system.

b. Watch “Recording of Live Session – Day 8” – Containment: Link

• Just pause and reflect back on the intention we set on Day 0. Is that still the same intention I want to have for the rest of the journey, or do I want to change it to set myself up for success for the rest of the journey?
• Is there anything I want to change moving forward to adjust anything I need to for the rest of the journey?
• What have you been doing that you want to keep doing? And what is something that you want to change? For example, how have you been showing up for the work?
• e.g., continue to notice subtle changes in your body, keep being gentle with yourself, increase the consistency with doing the exercises, changing your intention, etc.
• Write it down; it will make the intention part of it much stronger.
• Do the containment exercise while you’re still in bed.
• Voo exercise: 14:00 mins – normal Voo, with containment.
• Open share time: 21:00 mins.

c. Bonus: The 2 Competing Survival States: Link

d. Song: In This and Every Moment – Day 7 – Containment: Link