This song makes me think of my Dad. When he was still a young boy in China, and was on his way to school, he was picked up by Chiang Kai-Shek’s army to fight the communist army. When the Kuomintang lost the war to the communist party, my dad and his older brother (my uncle) managed to get onto one of the last battleships that was retreating to Taiwan.
Ironically, the writer of this song, Pete Seeger, was accused of being a communist back in the 50’s.
My dad’s family suffered greatly because of the communist party. They murdered his mother – my grandmother. One of his brothers denounced the entire family and joined the communist party, in order to survive. My dad developed PTSD.
Mom said that throughout the years, dad would be punching and kicking in his sleep, sometimes, even accidentally hurting my mom. When asked what he was dreaming of, he said he was dreaming that he was fighting the enemies.
Sometimes, dad would suddenly get into a rage for what seems to be for no reason at all. This is why sometimes I wonder if I had developed PTSD even before I met my long term abusive boyfriend. This was also during the era where parents and school teachers believed that ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’, so getting disciplined back then, was not considered to be abuse. Dad did not hit us often, but what was most frightening about dad was the thought of what he might do to us. The anticipation of fear was greater than the fear itself.
‘We are the World’ came out when we were still living in Taiwan, before dad got transferred to South Africa. My sister went and bought the album and us three kids were playing it over and over again, and singing along. When dad came home, he tried to ask us nicely to lower the volume. My brother innocently said that it wasn’t that loud. Without saying a word, dad went into the kitchen, took a meat cleaver, and chopped the tape in half. This frightened me greatly as I felt like dad could just lose it one day, and without any warning signs, just kill us….
I have a lot of compassion for dad though, and I love him dearly. There was no such thing as counseling back then. He managed to escape to Taiwan with nothing, leaving the army, finishing his university degree, passing the foreign service exam, and eventually becoming a diplomat. I don’t think anyone outside of our home knows of his violent, erratic temper.
I have never picked up the courage to ask dad if he had ever had to kill anyone in order to survive back then? Honestly speaking, I don’t think I’d ever want to know…
I also have PTSD… How can I heal myself?
“Where Have All The Flowers Gone”
Pete Seeger
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time passing?
Where have all the young girls gone, long time ago?
Where have all the young girls gone?
Gone for husbands everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time passing?
Where have all the husbands gone, long time ago?
Where have all the husbands gone?
Gone for soldiers everyone
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the soldiers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time passing?
Where have all the graveyards gone, long time ago?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Gone to flowers, everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time passing?
Where have all the flowers gone, long time ago?
Where have all the flowers gone?
Young girls have picked them everyone.
Oh, when will they ever learn?
Oh, when will they ever learn?